Well, it’s out there. Southern Smash…a crazy idea that suddenly became my pay-it-forward mission. I have NO idea why I feel so compelled to put myself out there in such a way. (Well, a dear friend is partly to blame for being so damn pushy and supportive of my madness.) But seriously, who is this person I am becoming? A few years ago, I would have NEVER blogged such personal things, much less post them to Facebook for so many to see. And now I am taking the plunge to travel, tell my story and create a foundation to raise awareness for a disease I spend my whole life trying to hide.
Who is this girl? This is certainly not the same girl who just two years ago could hardly stand to look at herself in the mirror. The girl whose world was black and white and defined by numbers on a scale and the size of her jeans. The girl who was literally killing herself to reach perfection. The girl petrified to do anything out of the box in fear of utter failure. The girl who was living a slow death in silence.
I guess the question is…who was that girl? Because this girl is McCall…quirky, funny and full of love and an intense passion for her life. Everyday I put myself out there more and more. Throwing caution to the wind and staring failure square in the eyes. If I fail, I fail. If Southern Smash flops, well at least I tried. But it has not failed because it has already touched a nerve with many. If I touch just one person, then I have succeeded in my pay it forward mission.
So on this New Year’s Eve, I shall look back at 2012 as hands down the BEST year of my life: I finally became a mom when my husband and I welcomed our beautiful baby boy, I coached my first Girls on the Run team, I shared my recovery story of struggle and triumph, I founded Southern Smash, I discovered who I was…and how I want to leave my mark on this world. I can honestly say I lived everyday of 2012 authentic, real and true to who I am. Not everyday was sunshine and rainbows. There were plenty of bumps and tears in 2012, but that is what makes life beautiful, right?
I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions. I believe that we should resolve to be a better person each day. I never want to stop evolving or discovering who I am. My eating disorder stole many years, but it did not steal them all. Life in recovery has been a wild, wild ride…and I am forever grateful to be present and healthy enough to enjoy every second of it and plan to make every minute count.
Cheers to a SMASHING 2013!