Lost and Found
Yesterday, I took my daughter to church for the first time to see (or rather to sleep through) her sweet friend’s baptism. At the party afterwards I found myself choking back tears as I watched family friends parading Marjorie around. We were out of the house and doing something normal. I was finally able to […]
Gaining My Groove Back
Today I went on a run. A seemingly simple sunset run, but my mind started turning as soon as my feet hit the pavement. Since exercise addiction was a big part of my eating disorder, my ability to move my body without the pressure of ‘burning this’ or ‘losing that’ still astounds me. Every day […]
Pro Choice: Choosing Life in the Darkness
Small choices. Tiny decisions. Day by day. This is recovery. Recovery is not perfect. It is not a straight line. Recovery does not happen overnight. It happens when you decide to get out of bed and get dressed, even though your depression is so gruesome it hurts. It happens when you decide to eat your snack, […]
Smashing the Pregnancy Scale
Tap…Tap…Tap…Tap… The weight kept jolting further and further to the right. Higher and higher. My anxiety raised in parallel unison with the climb of the scale’s number. (Oh, you thought I was immune from scales because I smash them for a living? Not so much.) The nurse silently wrote down a number and I followed […]
Surviving Goodbye
Last week I had the honor of speaking and meeting with the amazing patients of Castlewood. I was touched by their openness and engagement during our time together. I could have sat and talked with them all day. They were full of questions that both challenged and excited my thoughts surrounding eating disorder recovery. As I sat […]
Discovering the Yogi Within
It is no secret my eating disorder kept me from enjoying life and putting myself out there. I feared failure like most people fear burning to death. So rather than risk not being good enough, I stayed safely inside my comfort zone – and by comfort zone I mean eating disorder. But I don’t think […]
Guest Blog: DREAM HUGE!
I was honored when my friend and mentor, Jenni Schaefer, asked me to guest blog for her “Dream Big” blog series. Eating disorders blind us from having dreams, but the light of recovery opens our eyes to dreams we never imagined possible. What’s your dream? Here is mine…
Loving My Body in the Grey
(My Guest Blog post on Love Our Bodies, Love Ourselves) Body image. The elusive positive body image that your treatment team constantly chatters about. Sure it would be nice to love your body, but let’s be real here, the notion of loving your body after spending years hating it is frankly insane. Love my body? […]
The Real Skinny on Spring Break
“She’s gotten so skinny. Like, she never goes out anymore.” “I think it’s for Spring Break” “Yeah, and every time I see her at the house she is eating, like, one piece of cheese.” My heart sank as I overheard the conversation between three Ole Miss sorority sisters Friday afternoon at lunch. Listening to this […]
An Empty Finish Line
Yesterday, I crossed a finish line. Yep, that was all it was, a finish line. A man-made line in the street to declare the race complete. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course completing a half-marathon is nothing to laugh at. I am super proud of my husband and myself for completing our first race together. But […]