hi! i'm McCall!

I'm a proud and imperfect mom of two tiny humans and founder of Southern Smash. I smash scales for a living and help others smash the mental health stigma by sharing my eating disorder story. I believe resiliency is cultivated through the practice of gratitude and that there is always light, even in the darkest of times.

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Southern Smash

Speaking

On the blog...

When You Don’t Fit the PTSD Mold

The Best News We Never Expected

Eleven Years Later and Still Recovering

Finding ME Again.

I am HERE.

The House Don’t Fall When My Bones are Good

mccalldempsey

👫proud & (very) imperfect mom
🔨scale smasher @southernsmash founder
🧠eating disorder recovery
📝writer
🎤 speaker
⚜️louisiana born ➡️🏖 florida living

Today I ran/attended my third @wolfsonchildren Chi

Today I ran/attended my third @wolfsonchildren Children’s Challenge. Marjorie was a Wolfson honoree in 2017 (I think). I was in a complete haze. I don’t remember anything. I was still going through the motions and trying to get my footing in life after cancer. I avoided these events for many years. It was too hard. Too many feelings. Fast forward to us moving to Ponte Vedra. I meet @neill.lasher.realtor - my first friend. She had a team in honor of her daughter Harbor after she was born with complications, resulting in the NICU. I tagged along on her team guarding my heart from letting the event’s and our family story’s gravity sink in. I haven’t made the race in recent years. Marjorie has been at Wolfson with pneumonia. I’ve been at @baptisthealthjx with mastectomy complications. And then this year came. Neill sent her annual text and it was an easy YES. But not for my Marjorie. This year was for Ava. As I set out on my leg of the race, I sobbed. And pretty much cried my way through. I passed photos of the honored kids and felt the tug of every family. But no tug was stronger than feeling my dear friend @kymgjones and her Ava. I sobbed wishing there was a reason or why. But there will never be. So today I give gratitude for @wolfsonchildren and the angels that do the work every day to be with our kids and us. I am beyond thankful for this hospital and our community. There will never be a day when these events don’t bring heartache and hope. But I’m thankful for my sweet friend Neill for organizing teams so moms with heavy hearts like mine can participate and support the hospital and people I love so very much. 🎗️🎗️🎗️

Some nights I linger a little longer. The past few

Some nights I linger a little longer. The past few days (weeks) have been a lot longer with both Marjorie and Manning. Yesterday our dear sweet Ava took her final breath. At just ten years old, she fought the most courageous battle. I met Ava’s mom @kymgjones at TPC. Marjorie and I were eating lunch after her yearly oncology appointment in 2021. I knew who Kym was the minute she walked over. Jordan had told me about someone at TPC whose daughter had been diagnosed with cancer. I don’t think we even said hi, just hugged. There’s a silent understanding amongst moms with kids fighting cancer. No matter where you are in the battle, there’s a common bond that you share - one you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. It’s a club no one wants to enter, and yet here we are. I watched and loved Kym and Ava from a distance as I kept up with each set back and cheered for every beautiful memory they made together. Their extraordinary bond has left the biggest and most beautiful impression on my heart. It’s what I hope for Marjorie and myself - a connection that lasts to infinity and beyond as Kym and Ava said. @kymgjones like I’ve said to you a million times, there are no words. There is no “God has a plan”. All I have is a promise to you that we will think of Ava with every cotton candy sky and claw machine. I’m always ready to sit by your side without words, but willing to hold all the hurt and all the beautiful memories together. Please send love and prayers to the Jones family and all of sweet Ava’s young friends. Life just isn’t fair. Our kids deserve more, us mama bears deserve more. We need more research. Please consider donating to pediatric cancer research in Ava’s honor. 🎗️🎗️

“If you’re mad, the Cutie Club can help!” ⭐️ Motivational Mondays by Marjorie: The Cutie Club Handbook ⭐️ Marjorie has created many “clubs” at school and this is the handbook for the Cutie Club. Swipe ➡️ to see the club guidelines on how to manage anger and some tips for breath work 😂

Five years. It feels like yesterday and a lifetime

Five years. It feels like yesterday and a lifetime all muddled together. Today’s grief was met with gratitude for the countless memories and moments I have. There is not a single regret. We took the pictures. I listened and loved every story you told me and I cherished those final days with you. You are still very much alive in our daily stories or when Marjorie and Manning spot “GaGa Birds” (red cardinals). I raise my Chardonnay to you GaGa, my best friend. Grief never goes away and each year/day brings different feelings. Today was a good day. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I will miss you just the same and feel just as grateful as I do now. Love you always. 💕💕

Every day Marjorie comes home with a backpack full

Every day Marjorie comes home with a backpack full of drawings, notes and stories. They all carry a very motivational theme. #livelaughlove 😂 I thought I would share the joy and start: ⭐️ Motivational Mondays by Marjorie ⭐️ I hope today’s “Rules” make you smile. The world would certainly be a better place if we followed these rules. Stay tuned. I’ve got stacks of Marjorie’s motivations to make you smile!

In the trauma world they say the body keeps score,

In the trauma world they say the body keeps score, but I really wish it would forget sometimes. This week I found myself with a nasty post flu infection. I’ve tried “riding it out” thinking I would get better with time. No such luck. Today, I was lovingly pushed to our local urgent care. Many think I don’t like doctors because I am stubborn, but the truth is because I am terrified. Sterile exam rooms have a score count of landing me or someone I love (cough, cough Marjorie) in the hospital. This particular urgent care is the scene of two life threatening pneumonia trips for Marjorie. I’m not a fan. As I drove to urgent care I felt numb and on the brink over overwhelming panic, *knowing* I was going to end up in the hospital. Spoiler alert: I’m fine. My non-trauma brain knew I was fine. But PTSD trumps any “wise” mind. I kept playing out old scenes of Marjorie lying practically lifeless on the exam table or me when my body was riddled with infection. The body does keep score and it sucks. But it doesn’t have to win. We can acknowledge the really, really shitty past that we feel in our bones and keep putting one foot in front of the other. And I did, reminding ourselves history doesn’t ALWAYS repeat itself. Im back home with my zoo, ready for bed and more rest…and some meds that will hopefully kick this shit to the curb once and for all!! Sending love to all those with a body full of trauma scorecards. 💕

Don’t blink they say…but I think it pertains t

Don’t blink they say…but I think it pertains to not missing the ONE second when they are not fighting. 🤦‍♀️💕💙

Yesterday, Marjorie and I had our second annual Nu

Yesterday, Marjorie and I had our second annual Nutcracker date 🩰🎄 I took her to a fancy lunch before the show, but my eager dancer was all about getting to the theater. And we did…an HOUR before it started. The doors were not even open, but she did not care. I let her make all decisions on this special day, even if that included sitting in the lobby watching dancer warm up on a screen. Most days of motherhood go by in a chaotic whirl. No time to cherish…just getting here and there without sibling fights that draw blood. Yesterday was a cherish day. I soaked up every second. Some days more than others I am reminded how fleeting time is and by history I know how life can change in the blink of an eye. I know how damn lucky I am to watch my kids grow up. I’ve come close to not having this precious gift. After the show (and car nap) Marjorie came home and immediately began practicing for the role of Clara with her new Nutcracker. I have no doubt in a few years she won’t be next to me in the audience, but dancing center stage for all to see. Forever and always her biggest fan 🩰💕

This is 4️⃣1️⃣ Thank you for all the birt

This is 4️⃣1️⃣ Thank you for all the birthday love. It was a perfectly quiet and low key birthday. I started my 41st trip around doing my favorite thing - a long walk/run on the beach. The tide was going out and I chased the tide pools and found solace with the crunch of shells beneath my feet. My day ended with a dinner that included my favorite tiny humans and their daddy. It was all I needed because my heart was with another family. For my birthday, I ask you send all the love and prayers to my birthday twin Ava. She turned 10 today and has battled cancer courageously the past few years with her incredible mom @kymgjones, dad and family by her side. She loves Cobra Kai and Claw Machines. Take a minute and say a prayer and send she and her precious family all the love you have. Life is so damn precious. Squeeze those you love tight and celebrate every day. 💛✨

We met over thirty years ago in the mountains of w

We met over thirty years ago in the mountains of western North Carolina, in a little town named Tuxedo. 🏕️ When we outgrew our camper and counselor years at @campgreencove, our annual girls’ weekends became sacred staples on our calendar. We’ve gotten each other through grad schools, marriages, divorces, babies, losing loved ones…you name it, we’ve carried a sister through it. 💚 This year was no different. New challenges arose: aging parents, menopause and host of other dumpster fire situations life throws our way. And one thing continues to remain the same: we care, love and support each other having enough space to hold the hard things and dance through the good. 👯‍♀️🍷 From over tweezing our eyebrows in the 90s to now tweezing each others’ random chin hairs 😂, this group of women have carried me through my lowest of lows and always give me the space to be 110% me. I left Arizona with a happy heart, an aching belly from laughter and tired legs from the dance parties. Cheers until next year ladies. Thankful every day for each of you and that special little place in the woods. 💕🏕️👯‍♀️

Trauma + anxiety are complex and weird things. One

Trauma + anxiety are complex and weird things. One day you are fine and then BAM. Narrator: she is NOT fine. That was me yesterday and throughout the past week. Today, I am Arizona bound for our annual Green Cove Girls Weekend. I plan my year around this weekend of belly laughs, wine, yoga pants and dance parties with some of my favorite ladies on the planet. But my anxiety and PTSD had another plan this year. Yesterday, I had a full on panic attack, sobbing that I could not go. I just kept saying, "I can't go." Why? Because my trauma brain says if I leave, Marjorie or Manning will get very sick or need me and I won't be there. This is something I work on ALL THE TIME in therapy. I *KNOW* that they will most likely be just fine and I will return home to two happy and healthy kiddos. But my trauma brain gets the best of me. And let's be honest - Marjorie does not have the best track record. Last time I left town for four nights, Marjorie spiked a 104 fever and got pneumonia. Let’s take a look at this week’s anxiety scorecard: Sunday: felt like I was having a heart attack all day, just knowing Marjorie was about to get sick - because she was stuffy. Yes, just stuffy, but my brain told me we were hospital bound with pneumonia. Monday: had a great day. Started to get excited for my girls weekend. Yesterday: spent the day having a full on heart attack, knowing 100% I could not go. I sat at my desk bawling, muttering “I can’t go”. I knew I would go because I knew deep down that it was the anxiety and trauma talking. Not to mention I have a kick ass husband who after I told him my fears, looked at me and said, “If something goes wrong, I’m here.” Touché Jordan. Well played. There’s something frustratingly healing about saying the anxiety out loud. By giving words to my trauma/anxiety brain, I give the power back to myself. So here I am. Buckled up. Ready for take off and ready to squeeze 16 of my most favorite people in the world. Deep breaths. Exhale. Anxiety can often warp the best things into hard things. But we can do hard things. And this weekend will be nothing but doing the easiest of things. Onward to girls weekend 2022. 💕💕

I recently received an email from Marjorie’s tea

I recently received an email from Marjorie’s teacher, letting me know of a “situation” at school. “Some students let us know that Marjorie was selling little toys/trinkets like squishies in exchange for behavior tickets that we use in the classroom. We spoke with Marjorie and let her know that we do not trade items for behavior tickets.” I laughed out loud and was instantly filled with pride. No, not proud she is hustling for behavior tickets 🤦‍♀️, but look at my budding entrepreneur 🏆 Marjorie had no clue there was anything wrong with her squishy business. She was devastated and worried she was in trouble. I gave her a high five and told her how proud I was. We also had a talk on earning things versus a side hustle. Since the email, she has relocated her business to her bedroom. Her store hours might differ than her school store hours, but you can bet your bottom dollar her store comes with the same drive and enthusiasm. 💵👩‍💼🛍️ Marjorie’s Squishy Store is now taking holiday orders. She sells gift cards too and probably will give you a Cyber Monday deal 😆 Also, shout out to her teachers. Thank you for doing the LORD’s work with my girl and all the students. We are so thankful for the best teachers at the best little school. 💕🫶

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