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hi! i'm McCall!

I'm a proud and imperfect mom of two tiny humans and founder of Southern Smash. I smash scales for a living and help others smash the mental health stigma by sharing my eating disorder story. I believe resiliency is cultivated through the practice of gratitude and that there is always light, even in the darkest of times.

About

Southern Smash

Speaking

On the blog...

When You Don’t Fit the PTSD Mold

The Best News We Never Expected

Eleven Years Later and Still Recovering

Finding ME Again.

I am HERE.

The House Don’t Fall When My Bones are Good

mccalldempsey

👫proud & (very) imperfect mom
🔨scale smasher @southernsmash founder
🧠eating disorder recovery
📝writer
🎤 speaker
⚜️louisiana born ➡️🏖 florida living

The month of May is filled with difficult memories

The month of May is filled with difficult memories of Marjorie’s cancer diagnosis. One of the hardest moments was her baptism. It was held in the hospital before her biopsy surgery. It was one of the hardest days. I was adamant the baptism was not because we were fearful. I held strong on the faith that we would get through this, but deep down I did not know. The truth of my fear was too terrifying to say out loud. Yesterday, Marjorie received her First Communion. I was already a ball of emotions thinking back to her baptism nearly eight years ago to the day. Before mass began Marjorie asked me, “Mom, where was I baptized?” Does this kid have a direct line to my anxiety and heart? Thankfully, mass began and she forgot about her question. She wore my communion dress that was made by her namesake, my GaGa. The day was filled with bittersweet memories and family near and far. It’s no secret my faith has wavered throughout Marjorie’s journey and the many other hard things. But in my knowing, I believe in something greater. Recently, I’ve come back into my faith. I want to pass a faith foundation to my children and watch them flourish in whatever connection they find later in life. From trembling with fear at her hospital bedside baptism, to watching my healthy girl receive her communion (in my old dress made by GaGa no less!), this weekend was the healing full circle moment my heart has needed for eight years. 🙏🩵

To our Miraculous Marjorie..: On this day, eight

To our Miraculous Marjorie..: On this day, eight years ago, we trembled in fear as we heard the words “Your daughter has cancer.” This day would become our “before and after” on life as we knew it. Before and after cancer. When you received your first chemotherapy, I held you in my arms and dreamed of you dancing on stage. In my heart, I knew you were destined to sparkle ✨ It’s not lost on me that your dance recital always falls on your cancer anniversary, a day you will never remember, but a day that is forever etched in my heart and mind and you carry the trauma in your body. Today, as you danced your last dance it was at the same time Dr Gauger and @macklemmon walked in our hospital room to tell us the devastating news eight years ago. The emotions are nearly too much to carry, but one look at you and my heart soars. We are so proud of you and all the determination and passion you pour into your love for dance. Beyond grateful to our countless doctors and nurses at @wolfsonchildren, our dance family at @atlanticcoastdance and all who have loved and prayed for our girl every step of the way. Eight years ago, I dreamed of this day not knowing if my dream would come true. Thankful every day for our healthy girl and her extraordinary big brother. 🩰🩵

This is autism. When I found out I was having a b

This is autism. When I found out I was having a baby boy, this was never on the radar. Autism was never expected and yet, my mama heart always knew. There was something uniquely different about Manning, but it wasn’t ‘obvious’. No big missed milestones or constant lack of eye contact. No extensive speech delay or lack of social skills. Quite the opposite, he loves his friends & makes them with ease. He is brilliantly smart. And yet, it was there and deep down, I knew. When Manning entered school, we started the sport roulette wheel - as any good southern family does. Soccer. Nah. Flag football. Nope (thank goodness). Then we entered solo sports - tennis, of course, golf. Nothing sparked joy like his computer and ipad. The world around me told me I was a bad parent for giving him so much screen time. But, I knew THIS was his passion. I adoringly watched as he became proficient at LEGOs and computers, spending hours intensively focused on each. As he grew older, I noticed his lack of conversation skills & interest in other people’s activities. Not because he doesn't care or love me or our family, simply put: he is not wired that way. I curiously watched as he paced telling me about the latest game he loved. My heart ached at each meltdown over cold water or having to write out HOW he arrived at the math answer, rather than just computing it in his head. Everything started to click. I knew I needed to find testing, knowing diagnosis would ultimately give us answers on how to best support him. Receiving the autism diagnosis has been a mixture of grief and relief. It’s letting go of what we thought would be, finding peace in what is and looking forward to the million things that his life could be. It is such an odd space to hold. The sadness, the fear, the pride and the exhale. I have had the honor of witnessing autistic folks step into their full selves & how proud they are to be autistic. I know when Manning understands, he will be so proud of how his brain is special and not like the rest. I can’t wait for that day. Until then, we will do everything to support our extraordinary Manning, smothering him with all the love and pride in our hearts. 🩵

Hard things have NOTHING on my Marjorie. 💛 The

Hard things have NOTHING on my Marjorie. 💛 The build up to our yearly oncology appointment and ‘poke’ was hard. It gets harder every year, but this year she had so many more tools to kick the worry brain to the curb. Last year, I literally had to drag and carry my sobbing girl into the appointment. This year, she took a deep breath and got out of the car on her own. We were armed with all of her posters and reminders, ready to tackle the hard things. As always, we arrived and there was a musician and artist there from @artwithaheartinhealthcare. Marjorie refused to go, sitting on my lap with silent tears streaming down her face. I held her tight as she took in the familiar room. We watched another sweet family talk to the caricature artist about their love of camping. The artist quickly drew a family portrait. I asked Marjorie if she wanted me to get up with her and take a closer look. She did so we walked over and met, “Mr. Bob”. I watched her exhale as he asked her if she wanted her picture drawn. She silently nodded. It was the first time she smiled since she woke up. He asked her about dance and quickly drew a portrait that we will have forever. We went back to our appointment and as always, Dr. Bechtal and Nurse Renee were absolute angels. Marjorie bragged all about her dancing and school. When it came time for the Big Poke of 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣3️⃣ 💉, Renee showed her every step. Marjorie took a deep breath, whispered “We can do hard things” and poof! It was done ✅. Marjorie was beaming with pride, but not as much as me. I silently cried the entire way home. All of the fear, anxiety and grief that have been bottled up for weeks, poured out of me. Results will come later this week. But for now, I count my blessings for my brave girl and for our sweet MJ from @the_healing_playroom who helped her understand it is okay to be brave and scared and how to kick Mr Worry Brain to the curb. I’m thankful for our incredible @nemours and @wolfsonchildren oncology team and beyond grateful for our new hero, Mr. Bob. 💛🎨 💛💛💛💛

Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. I am in

Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. I am in a season of hard things AND I would not change my two monkeys for the world. I think about my mom and how not only did she do the hard things for us, but gave up her dreams. There was no work from home or Google to ask if the butt rash warranted a doctor’s visit. My mom did it all. She did it without the Internet or a thousand mom memes helping you feel less alone in this wild ride. I’m not sure how my mother is still standing, but she is. And that makes her the ultimate mom bad ass. No internet. No recipe books. No “this is how to raise a kid” books. Just her intuition, empathy and never ending love. I’m forever the lucky one. Love you always Annie. I’m the mom I am today because of you. 🩷🩷

Tonight was not all dancing giggles and sweet drea

Tonight was not all dancing giggles and sweet dreams. Tonight I curled up with my sobbing miracle girl. She knows her yearly oncology appointment is next week. She is scared. So am I. These appointments have become harder in the last few years. She is older. She knows and understands time and calendars. Marjorie remembers every needle and poke and what her mind doesn’t remember, her body does. Tonight she asked, “Mom, what kind of cancer did I have?” My heart crumbled. She was so small and now she is asking the hard questions. I don’t candy coat. I tell her the truth. It’s her story. It’s our story. And how do you explain to an 8-year old their cancer journey? And know that you can’t promise it will never come back 💔 I found myself scrolling through her dance photos when she dozed off to sleep. She is happiest when she dances. While this coming week is filled with hard things, we will also fill them with dance. I will remind her over and over that we do the hard things together and I’ll never leave her side. Marjorie loves @glennondoyle (Ms G 🥰) “We can do hard things” and music as much as I do. So I decided to surprise her and create a “Marjorie Can Do Hard Things” Playlist for her on @spotify. I would love help! Put you brave, inspiring, fun and favorite songs below ⬇️

Every year this photo knocks the wind out of me. I

Every year this photo knocks the wind out of me. It is the line in the sand - the before and after. I posted this photo eight years ago and thought, "We did it. We survived months in the NICU and now I have my babies together - happy and healthy." This picture guts me because I know now that cancer was rapidly growing in Marjorie's tiny body when the photo was taken. One month later we would hear the words, "Your daughter has cancer." The first night in the hospital, I remember sitting in the pleather recliner next to Marjorie's hospital crib. My body rocked back and forth as I silently sobbed, wondering how the hell we ended up on the @wolfsonchildren Oncology floor. We were just at the beach. We were just in Baton Rouge with family. We were just normal and healthy and suddenly we were not. It doesn't matter how many years go by, this picture will forever haunt me. What was a perfect day in Sea Island, would soon vanish in the blink of an eye. What was my little healthy family, would be shattered. People call me strong, but I did what any momma would do. You fight. You crumble. You lean on others and you get up and do it again. You do not have another choice. Nearly eight years later, life has marched on. Marjorie is a (very) energetic eight year old. People see her and marvel in the miracle that is our Marjorie. But people don’t see the wounds and trauma she carries from years of hospitals. They don’t see the dent and debilitating worry I carry every day. Every stomach ache, bruise and hurt, means the worst case scenario. People don’t see how one smiling memory captured eight years ago reminds me of the darkest moments of our lives. Cancer is gone, but the invisible scars will forever run deep. Our story has had a happy ending. But I’ve watched too many fellow mommas not have the same ending and for that my heart shatters. I can feel the ache in my bones. And I promise to carry on in their fighters’ memories and names. Always. Thankful every day and really angry every day. Our kids deserve more research. More funding. Support pediatric cancer 💛🎗️

Cheers to the BRIDE 👰‍♀️ @meredith_burns,

Cheers to the BRIDE 👰‍♀️ @meredith_burns, the best sister from another mister anyone could ask for. You’re always there, literally - hopping on airplanes at a moments notice to be by my side at the lowest points of life and always ready to book an adventure. Saturday was absolutely perfection - an engagement party turned wedding! Everyone there to celebrate you (and Craig 😝), including the tiny wedding crashers. You deserve all the celebration and you two are oh so easy to celebrate 🎉

2️⃣0️⃣ years ago tonight, this @olemiss go

2️⃣0️⃣ years ago tonight, this @olemiss golfer took me out on our first date. I had never been on a “real” date where the boy picks you up and takes you to dinner. I was so nervous as we sat down i mispronounced salmon (yes, I used the L …SALmon 🍣🤦‍♀️). And he has not let me live it down since that night. I knew something was different with this golfer guy, little did I know the life we would create together. We spent the summer of 2003, traveling the country, living out of his car and bad hotels while I caddied for him. After countless miles and laughs, I knew I had found my life partner and best friend. While I retired my caddie skort (thank GOD) and he traded his player hat for a teaching one, we still act like those college kids in love. (Minus the times when he forgets to pick up Marjorie from ballet or when he can’t seem to find the laundry basket). Life is more fun with you by my side @jordandempseygolf. All these years later, no one can make me laugh like you can and no one I would rather road trip through life with. 💙💙💙 #firstdate #20yearslater #stilldating #caddylife #skortsarecool #olemiss #hottytoddy❤️💙

Today is the @alliancefored Day of Help kicking of

Today is the @alliancefored Day of Help kicking off NOT ONE MORE weekend. Please like, share, save and repost!! If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you don't have to struggle alone! Help is available, and recovery is possible. Please reach out today to the National Alliance for Eating Disorders by calling 866.662.1235⁠, visiting allianceforeatingdisorders.com, or texting "ALLIANCE" to 741741. *Please* repost - it could save a life. 💙💙💙 #NOTONEMORE #edaw #itstimeforchange

For anyone who observes Lent, here is your friendl

For anyone who observes Lent, here is your friendly reminder that Lent is NOT supposed to be a diet. Using Lent as a reason to not eat certain foods or for weight loss is not the point of Lent. Lent has been hijacked as the New Year's Resolution Junior with a New Lent, New Me attitude. Nothing you do or do not eat will instantly make your life better or more balanced - not even Jesus can do that. If you choose to observe Lent, think hard about what you plan to do during these next forty days. I, personally, do not observe Lent. For me, it feels to black/white - eat or don't eat, do or do not, pass or fail. The black and white thinking does not settle well with me and my recovery mindset. I like to observe the gray - the beautiful gray that lies in the messy middle of it all. I might put an intention out into the universe or try to focus on an area or my life that needs balance, knowing that most days my life is out of whack and has me whipping into carpool on two wheels. Jesus take the wheel. Literally. Lent or no lent, remember what the true meaning of these days and times are about. Embrace what they mean for you - not for what you've been taught or what you 'should' be doing. And for the love of all else - do not let diet culture into your Lenten season. Thanks for coming to my Lent Ted Talk. Amen.

According to Manning our trip to Beech Mountain wa

According to Manning our trip to Beech Mountain was “mostly successful” 😂😂 What can I say? He does not candy coat things 🤷‍♀️ The kids have wanted to see snow for the last few years. But have you seen the cost to ski out west!? 🫠🫠🫠 @jordandempseygolf decided this was the year to take the trip…to North Carolina! And it did not disappoint. I knew skiing and snow could be a culture shock to the kids, especially for Manning with his sensory differences. I wasn’t sure if the cold weather or layers of clothing would be too much for Manning. Or if the ski lift dangle in the sky would trigger a his fear of heights and unsafe things. So rather than break the bank to fly out west, we drove to our beloved NC to touch snow, tube and spend Manning’s birthday with the best of friends. Manning deemed it “mostly successfully” because he wanted MORE snow to play with. He saw the ski lift and didn’t bat an eye. For this momma of a kiddo that is wired in his own special way, this trip was a HUGE success. Marjorie and Maeve became instant besties and destined to be forever @campgreencove girls. While Manning reunited with his best camp bud, Wyatt. @jordandempseygolf and I got to share a million laughs with @emcmanuslavoie and Mike. The kids went up and down the tubing slopes a million times and ate every s’more on the mountain. Forever grateful to Green Cove for giving me lifelong friends and watching our babies become the next generation. Beech Mountain you have our heart. We will be back next year! ❄️❄️❄️

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