About

Southern Smash

Speaking

On the blog...

When You Don’t Fit the PTSD Mold

The Best News We Never Expected

Eleven Years Later and Still Recovering

Finding ME Again.

I am HERE.

The House Don’t Fall When My Bones are Good

mccalldempsey

👫proud & (very) imperfect mom
🔨scale smasher @southernsmash founder
🧠 eating disorder & mental health advocate
📝 writer 🎤speaker

Some years your birthday is magical and others yea

Some years your birthday is magical and others years it’s another day in the life. Today was bittersweet in so many ways. I woke up with a heavy heart. It is my birthday buddy Ava’s first celebration in heaven, but then leave it to my Manning to wish me my first Happy Birthday. This is huge for a sixth grade boy at 6:45am. Marjorie showered me with love as did Jordan. Heart happy. But there was a heaviness all day. So I did what any woman turning 42 does, I called my therapist. I gave myself the best gift of a therapy session to process and hold space that not every birthday is showered with family and friends. I get to feel sad and lonely. I get to miss people I love. And I get to celebrate with my little people I love most with a martini by the Christmas tree. I love getting older and falling more in sync with who I am and what I need. I welcome age and birthdays. If you’re inclined…This year I’ve signed up to run in the Gate River run to raise funds for @fourthandgold in honor of my birthday buddy Ava. Today is Ava’s first heavenly birthday. I would love nothing more for my birthday than for you to honor Ava and donate to Fourth and Gold that funds pediatric cancer research. Sending all my birthday magic and wishes to Ava’s brave and extraordinary mama @kymgjones Forever toasting to Ava. 🩵🩵 (Link in bio)

DONE ✅ This colonoscopy was one of the toughes

DONE ✅ This colonoscopy was one of the toughest challenges I’ve had in a while. I am so relieved to have it behind me. Before the drug induced “nap”, I was shaking like a leaf in pre-op. Using all the mantras and distractions. My Chek2 genetic mutation puts me at an elevated risk of colon cancer. The preliminary results from today showed two polyps, one that looks precancerous. It will be biopsied to know for sure. Nothing to be alarmed about, but my doctor said it was a good thing I came in when I did. I am thankful I kept the appointment and I owe that to my therapist who kept pushing me and holding me accountable to not cancel. Because of today’s findings I get the added bonus of returning to colonoscopy land in three years, not five. I will not push it off. I learned a valuable adulting lesson in this process - screenings matter. Genetic testing can save your life. It doesn’t mean it will be fun, but it’s worth it. Added bonus: you get a very nice nap during and after the procedure and get a reprieve from mom duty for the afternoon. Shout out to the best worst health aide who is terrible in hospitals, but always keeps me laughing @jordandempseygolf 🧬 🩷💩

My first colonoscopy is tomorrow. This prep has ta

My first colonoscopy is tomorrow. This prep has taken a harder toll on me mentally than I was prepared for, dredging up memories I’ve neatly packed away. I wasn't blind to the difficult feelings this would bring up. I've actually avoided the colonoscopy for two years (my genetic mutation puts me at a higher risk of colon cancer). After the mastectomy surgeries and complications in 2021, I've put off any medical procedures like an Olympic champion. Needles? No thanks. Add on the colonoscopy prep? Hard pass. I dodged it as long as my therapist would let me. The time has come. Yesterday, I went to procure the necessary colonoscopy prep items. Simply going down the “Digestive Health” aisle made my stomach turn. I was catapulted back to the days of spending far too long in that aisle. Cracking open the back of the pill pack shoved me into a past I've worked hard to forget. Today’s liquid diet hurled my brain into the pinball machine of trauma - my ED, being NPO for surgeries in 2021, and the unbearable physical emptiness in my stomach. It was too much. I collapsed in tears. My body reminding me that it will always keep the score. I continue to repeat what my therapist told me in the sessions (years) leading up to this, "I am safe. This is for my health." Tomorrow will come and go and I can't wait to sleep and enjoy whatever lunch and dinner my body craves. This is recovery. Recovery isn’t about turning a blind eye to the past. It’s being open to the difficult memories, letting the grief in and out, being open and honest along the way. And having a snoring Elsa to cuddle doesn’t hurt either. 🐶🩷

Im not crying. You are. 🥹🥹 First dance comp

Im not crying. You are. 🥹🥹 First dance competition in the books and Marjorie WON a National Scholarship to @dancemakersinc. For years, Marjorie has dreamed of taking home an award and today she did it! It was earned with a lot of hard work and sparkle. Moments like these overwhelm me, thinking of all she has overcome. And I’m so grateful knowing my healthy girl has a lifetime of dance ahead of her. Massive thank you to the @atlanticcoastdance teachers and “big sis” dancers who love and guide our littles. We would be lost without you! Now this dance mom is ready for a nap! 🩰🩷⭐️

Follow Marjorie for more skin care routine tips, l

Follow Marjorie for more skin care routine tips, like how to apply perfume to the face 🫠🫠🫠 We found this on @jordandempseygolf phone and haven’t stopped laughing. Hope it brings you a giggle too. Love this sassy star of ours. Tomorrow we head to her first dance competition! 🩵🪩

This is the aftermath of cancer and countless hosp

This is the aftermath of cancer and countless hospital stays and visits. A simple well visit is never simple. Marjorie has been in tears all week knowing she had to go to the doctor and it was flu shot time. Of course, all kids hate shots (grown ups too), but when all you relate to is blood draws and PICC lines there is no “simple” or “tiny” needle. Marjorie spent her therapy time this week playing with trains. The goal? Get the baby safe to her home…ie get through the flu shot. @the_healing_playroom and Marjorie’s therapist have been life savers these past few years, giving her the skills to conquer the big worry brain. In years past, I would have to pull her out of the car or down from a wall she was scaling to escape. It’s still hard, but she walks in on her own (mad at me, but I’ll take it). She cries and begs me to leave, but we stay. And when time comes she takes her deep breaths, looks at the needle and says, “I can do hard things. I’ve got this.” Cancer still lingers in the small and big ways. It makes me so angry for my girl, but I’m so proud of her. She conquers life on her own terms with her spunky spirit and attitude. Massive thank you to Dr Atkins and the @baptisthealthjx pediatrician team. Also let it be known, she used today as an opportunity to get a @target trip out of me. Who can say no to that smile. 💪

Unlock core memory. Some Reels are meant to be sha

Unlock core memory. Some Reels are meant to be shared. Best surprise. Best weekend with our birthday girl. Between Marjorie’s hospital residency and Ami living in Asia we have never had the chance to “pop over” for visits. These two have the most special relationship. Two weeks ago Marjorie said, “Momma, let’s surprise Ami for her birthday.” I did not think twice. Memories forever. My heart is so happy 🩷🩷

Well that was fun. 🪩🥂🕺 Thanks for being

Well that was fun. 🪩🥂🕺 Thanks for being born in the 7️⃣0️⃣s @jeff_d_b Loved celebrating the birthday boy with the best family and friends. It was a much needed getaway with the bonus of @jordandempseygolf wearing his dads wedding suit 🪩🕺

Happy 9️⃣th birthday to my Miraculous Marjorie

Happy 9️⃣th birthday to my Miraculous Marjorie 🥳🥳🥳 You literally danced your way into this world nine years ago today and haven’t stopped dancing since. You entered this world with the odds stacked against you, but nothing stood in your way. You are grit and magic personified. And I’m so damn lucky you’re mine. You entered this world on a rare Blood Moon night and have become enamored with “cotton candy” skies since. God gave you one amazing sunset sky tonight. You are extra in every way and never let anyone dim your VERY bright light. Love you more. Always. Forever. Happy birthday baby girl. 💗💗💗💗💗

This photo was taken two nights before Marjorie wa

This photo was taken two nights before Marjorie was born in 2014. I can still feel the agonizing fear and panic that was a constant pulse in my body for two weeks leading up to her birth. Tomorrow my sassy girl turns 9️⃣🥳. A day of well deserved celebration. And it’s a day filled with hard memories. I recently told my therapist that I feel like life is a constant game of Trauma Whack A Mole. I get a good process around one thing and then BAM up pops another thing. Marjorie’s birth has always been about her. Rightfully so. Nine years later, I was hit with the reality of the trauma my body and mind endured following my rupture at 25-weeks. I had worked so hard to feel embodied and one with my body after years of my eating disorder and that was snatched from me in an instant. I felt my body betrayed me and I almost lost my girl because of it. After Marjorie’s birth I went years without doctors visits, finally dragging myself back to the OB and slowly making my way to other check ups. The seven surgeries of 2021 did not help my medical fears. But like I say about recovery…it’s about awareness. If we are aware we can work on it. We can challenge and reach for support. And that’s where I am. Tomorrow is a mostly sweet and amazing day. My Marjorie only knows it as the best day ever and that’s what it shall be. I will carry my pain quietly and hold the joy that is my Miraculous Marjorie. 💗💗💗

In May 2020, I received a message from a sweet mom

In May 2020, I received a message from a sweet momma. Her daughter, Lucy, had just been diagnosed with neuroblastoma - like Marjorie, but the prognosis was very different. I’ve followed Lucy’s brave story since that day. It’s clear she had a huge spark for life and ferociously loved her family. I watched from the social media sidelines as teams of people fell in love with Lucy’s contagious spirit. (Looking at you @jax_wlax 💚) Lucy peacefully passed away last night at 7pm surrounded by her family. At 7pm yesterday, I went outside to snap a beautiful rainbow that popped up after a storm. Little did I realize at the time, it was Lucy. 🌈 Every day I struggle with the why of it all. Why are some here and others aren't? Why did we get so lucky? Then again, there is nothing “lucky” about having a child diagnosed with cancer. But we were lucky in the frame of cancer. This should not be about luck. We need more funding, more cures for our kids. Pediatric cancer only receives 4% of federal cancer funds. FOUR. There must be more funding for our children. If you are inclined please consider donating to a pediatric cancer organization in Lucy's honor. I've tagged some below or feel free to tag your favorite. And to @jessicashelly, I am so sorry you ever had to send me that DM that she was diagnosed. I can't imagine your heartbreak. I have witnessed the extraordinary strength and grace you have shown these last three years. Lucy was beyond blessed with a family who loved her until the very end and will carry her smiling spirit always. Sending you love and wrapping you, Jordan and Charlotte in prayers. 💛💛 🎗️Ways to Give 🎗️ @fourthandgold @kateamatofoundation @tcjayfund @cctdi @wolfsonchildren @dctjax @vforvictory_v4v @bellabowmanfoundation

Happy 100th birthday in heaven to GaGa - my best f

Happy 100th birthday in heaven to GaGa - my best friend, matron of honor and forever 'person'. It is fitting that your namesake has been counting down your big birthday. She insisted on a party with a theme. Marjorie asked me what you liked. My first thought was football, chardonnay and cigarettes, but I decided to tell her you did not need a theme for your big 100! Grief is such a funny thing. Your first birthday in heaven absolutely gutted me. As the years have gone by, the pain has subsided and been replaced with joyful memories and signs that you are all around. I talk to you all the time wishing I could hear your voice and just when I need to hear you most, I spot a gorgeous shell amongst a sea of broken ones or a red bird perches on the feeder. Manning and Marjorie call them 'GaGa birds'. You would be in awe of your grandbabies. Marjorie is living up to your name - stubborn and strong in every way! And your Manning! He would melt your heart with his big blue eyes and soft heart. I know you are looking down so proud as you always were of the two of them. My heartache of grief has morphed into a deep knowing and acceptance that you are with me. I am so grateful I had so many years with you. I laugh telling the kids all of the things we did together - piercing ears and driving without a license (or permission). You were and will always be my favorite person. Happy birthday, GaGa! Raising my chardonnay to you! 🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

Load More... Follow on Instagram