Eating Disorder Recovery

Miraculous Marjorie

On the blog...

When You Don’t Fit the PTSD Mold

The Best News We Never Expected

Eleven Years Later and Still Recovering

Finding ME Again.

I am HERE.

The House Don’t Fall When My Bones are Good

mccalldempsey

👫proud & (very) imperfect mom
🏃‍♀️running it forward @nycmarathon for @tcjayfund
🔨@southernsmash founder
🧠eating disorder/mental health advocate

Blurry pic. Tired legs. Full heart. 💕 NYC Marat

Blurry pic. Tired legs. Full heart. 💕 NYC Marathon ✅ So much more to come, but for now massive gratitude to the best support squad. Gorgeous day. My WHY carried me through…Marjorie, Ava, Lucy, Kate, Claire, Rue, KK, Bella, David, Grace, Chase, Holly, Anna James, Asher, Colty…(I know I’m missing some!) and every kid fighting cancer and their families. 💛🎗️💛🎗️ @tcjayfund

I guess we’re running a marathon tomorrow 🤷‍♀️ Feeling excited, nervous, and so incredibly grateful to have an extraordinary cheering section in my corner. I’m not sure how I got so lucky. Tomorrow is a run honoring all families and kids fighting pediatric cancer. It’s a run for my Marjorie and our story. It’s a run for Manning and all siblings of pediatric cancer warriors. It’s a run for those we’ve lost. It’s a redemption run for me to reconnect with this powerful body of mine that has been through the wringer in life. It’s a run to pay it forward. I’ve been so lucky to have support every step of our journey and this giving back to @tcjayfund who supports families fighting cancer when they need it most. See yall at the finish! 🏃‍♀️🩵 @nycmarathon

Yesterday, Manning and I walked out of @wolfsonchi

Yesterday, Manning and I walked out of @wolfsonchildren hospital grateful for their supreme care and compassion. AND I was feeling worn down, overwhelmed, and unsure how I was supposed to shift gears from caretaker to marathon runner in just a few short days. The truth was that I had a to-do list longer than a CVS receipt and not enough time. Manning’s illness over the past few weeks had taken priority and now I had less than 48-hours before we leave for NYC - oh and Halloween crammed in there too. We turned to walk the Wolfson corridor that was adorned with patient artwork and then I spotted her, my angel and my NYC Marathon “WHY” - Ava Jones. Tears and an exhale filled my body, yes, I needed to remember my WHY. It is about Ava and Lucy and Kate and Marjorie and so many other children and their families. Sunday is not just THE NYC Marathon, it is a run for people I love and adore. It is miles for kids who had to fight for their life when they should be playing at school. I have joked with my friends that my training has consisted of ‘concepts of a plan’ because that is life as a mom. You ‘plan’ to do one thing and then someone is sick or needs a poster board at 9pm and your attempt at a plan quickly vanishes. This marathon is not about minutes per mile or a finishing time. I am there to soak up every second of the day and hug every friend and family member along the way. It is a victory lap for my family as Marjorie is nearing her 10-year cancer-anniversary. It is a small way to honor all of the cancer heroes I have come to know and love on our journey. On my Jay Fund page, I have a list of cancer heros. I would love for you to drop any names below ⬇️ so I can add them. I have reached out to folks as I have thought about it, but want to have as many names as possible. Feel free to write them below or tag me. Of course, donations are still welcome to the @tcjayfund who supports all families fighting pediatric cancer. Thank you for your love and support and thank you to AVA! My forever hero and my WHY and her extraordinary momma @kymgjones 💕💕💕

Whirlwind 2️⃣4️⃣ hours, but happy to repor

Whirlwind 2️⃣4️⃣ hours, but happy to report we are HOME 🏡🩵 After a full day of testing, we got the green light to go home. All major tests came back normal and we are so thankful 🩵 Manning was an absolute rockstar, as were our beloved @wolfsonchildren family. Like always, every doctor, nurse, CNA, and human in between loved Manning like family. As for me, I’m happy to be home with the zoo and even happier to have two healthy kids. Being back in a hospital is far from easy. From the kid voice on the elevator to the signs, soap and familiar hallways, there are memories at every turn. In my years of experiencing CPTSD, I know that the wave will hit. I’m on the exhaustion train right now and plan to tuck in early. The next few days will be packing, but also carving out time to process through all the feelings of being back in a hospital. Thank you for all the love, messages, and texts. The power of community and connection carry us through life’s hard things. Now…let’s run the @nycmarathon 🏃‍♀️ and honor pediatric families fighting cancer and @tcjayfund 🩵🩵🩵

I did not have hospital slumber party on my @nycma

I did not have hospital slumber party on my @nycmarathon week bingo card. 🫠🫠🫠 My sweet guy has been experiencing abdominal pain and we were admitted today to hopefully get some answers and relief. His labs are normal and we are so thankful! Hoping this is a quick sleepover and we are back home to the zoo and school. I’m not new to the hospital rodeo. Jordan and I fell into sync with packing lists and schedules. I fully kicked into mom/caretaker mode and will schedule my PTSD spiral later in the week. 🫠🤪 Marathon planning and packing will have to wait. Who needs a week of sleep before a marathon 😂 Thankful, as always, for the amazing staff @wolfsonchildren who love and care for us like we are their own. Send my sweet buddy love, prayers, and jazz hands. We need him well to get him to the Big Apple 🍎 Once again…we can do hard things. 🫶🫶

When that Halloween costume arrives and your siste

When that Halloween costume arrives and your sister is in the bathtub 🛀😂👻

Oh @taylorswift it was so enchanting to meet you.

Oh @taylorswift it was so enchanting to meet you. We cried, danced, and soaked up every second of the Eras Tour magic. It still feels like a dream. I am thankful cancer isn’t in our daily lives anymore, but moments like last night nearly bring me to my knees. Cancer gives you an unwanted perspective of life’s fragility and I have taken this perspective and soaked up every minute. I watched my girl dance, overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to experience not just the concert but life through her magical eyes. A core memory like this will never be lost on me. Last night was joy and magic personified. Forever thankful to @seefird for offering her tickets. It was the most beautiful lesson to my Marjorie…put good out in the world, be kind to others and good will come back to you. 🎶 keep your side of the street clean 🎶 Until next time @taylornation

We’re going out tonight. And we understood the a

We’re going out tonight. And we understood the assignment. #bejeweled #erastour 💕🪩💕🪩

Twas the night before Tay… Are you ready for it

Twas the night before Tay… Are you ready for it. Because we are!!!! #miraculousmarjorie #smallbutmighty #swiftie #miraclegift #areyoureadyforit

As someone who carries a heavy load of PTSD, I nev

As someone who carries a heavy load of PTSD, I never know when a memory, room, or smell will knock me down. Because of the tremendous amount of therapy work I’ve done, life moves on and so do I. Daily tasks and my cognitive function are no longer interrupted every day by trauma. But then days like today come along…and no matter how much work or therapy you’ve done, you still get knocked on your ass. My oldest minion required a simple lab test today. We went from the pediatrician to the same hospital where I endured multiple surgeries, PICC lines, and pokes. Despite my inner knowing of where we were going and that I was okay, my body kept a different score. It was not the sight of the hospital or the initial entrance or waiting room, it was the hand soap. Shortly after we arrived, I went to the restroom. I was truly okay, focused on my sweet guy. Then I washed my hands. The smell of the soap knocked the wind out of me. I felt nauseous, dizzy, and wanted to collapse. But like all mamas, I carried on. I couldn’t escape the soap smell. It suddenly engulfed me. The only thing that snapped me back to reality was Manning’s belly giggle when a technician touched him and it tickled. We made it home. Manning went to his room (he is totally fine!) and I was left shaken and unsure of the whirlwind that just happened. It was all standard. Nothing life threatening. And yet my body felt like it was going to collapse. Even hours later. Thankful for the therapy under my belt, and therapist on speed dial, I’m okay. Tired and ready for bed but knowing it was just the body keeping score. And with each score, I get stronger. I am able to show up and be a mom for my kids when they need me and take care of myself too. So yes. The body keeps score, but so do I. Days like today break me open a little bit, but I’ve got the mindset and ability to acknowledge the tear and carefully mend it back together. If you’re like me, take care. Be gentle with yourself. There’s no finish line with PTSD. Let the proverbial hand soap knock you down and then let it remind you that you are strong and you can do hard things…like wash your hands 🫠🫠 #cptsd #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #cancermomma

To my Miraculous Marjorie on your TENTH birthday:

To my Miraculous Marjorie on your TENTH birthday: Today feels like the most precious gift from above. On this day ten years ago, I trembled with fear, but kept the faith. You danced your way into this world three mo the early. And from day 1, the nurses declared you a feisty one! That grit and sparkle has made you a survivor and our tiny warrior whose twinkle toes rarely touch the ground. While my heart ached on this day ten years ago, it has been replaced with endless memories and a million more to come. Our three months in the NICU feel like a lifetime and yesterday all rolled together. Forever thankful to our Wolfson angels who helped you grow and get stronger every day…and they helped take care of this wounded mama! We have loved watching you grow from a tiny baby smaller than a stuffed animal monkey to the beautiful girl you are today. Happy happy birthday my precious miracle! 💕💕💕💕

Today is the last day of Pediatric Cancer Awarenes

Today is the last day of Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month. I wanted to highlight the unsung heroes of our tiny warrior’s battle…the siblings. Manning was just three years old when Marjorie was diagnosed with cancer. He went to his morning swimming lesson and spent the next few days with our beloved Island family. It would be over week before I could see him again. Our visit was brief and in the hospital. I was so touched at the outpouring of love for Manning. People sent him trucks, books, Legos and prayers from all over. Throughout our journey, Manning never missed a beat. He remained his happy, easy go lucky self. He is our unsung hero. Then and now. It’s such an honor to run the @nycmarathon on behalf of the @tcjayfund. They support the entire family and recognize that siblings deserve just as much of the love, attention, and support. Here’s to the siblings and to my Manning 🩵

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