Doing the Hard Things: My Prophylactic Double Mastectomy
‘Twas the Night Before Surgery // Wednesday, January 6, 2021 Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. My eyes were glued to my watch – T-Minus 24-hours. Each passing minute another 60-seconds closer to my prophylactic double mastectomy, my thoughts clouded with future scenarios. “This time tomorrow… I’ll be in surgery…I’ll be out of surgery…I’ll be in post […]
Beating Cancer to the Punch: My Journey to Prophylactic Mastectomy
I plan to share this journey. I don’t share for thoughts and prayers, but in hopes my experience might help someone else […] I urge you to get genetic testing and/or share this and encourage others to do the same. No one can save your life except for you.
Finding ME Again.
Some days it feels like the first six months of 2021 never happened. The countless needles, IVs, meds, PICC lines, surgeries feel like a distant nightmare. I was in survival mode. Other days, I sit with anxiety pounding my chest *knowing* the infection is back or something else will be wrong. I’ve avoided writing, feeling […]
I am HERE.
P!nk’s “I am HERE” has always been one of my go to anthems, but today more than ever the line struck me: “I am here, I am here. I’ve already seen the bottom, so there’s nothing to fear.” I’ve seen the bottom. I’ve seen lots of bottoms in my lifetime – and with each bottom […]
Roadmap to LIFE: Countdown to Surgery
The purple pen dotted my sternum, top to bottom, side to side. In a small mirror leaning on the counter in front of me, I watched as the doctor’s hand moved across my chest. I felt numb. Dot…dot…dot…line…line…. My gaze went from the small, handheld mirror holding my reflection to the blank ceiling above not […]
Ten Years Later and Still Choosing LIFE
December 14, 2010 I woke up alone in a hotel room scared of the day ahead – scared of recovery, scared of the unknown and scared to let go of my eating disorder. In just a few hours I would admit myself to residential treatment at the Carolina House for my eating disorder. In the […]
My 2020 Birthday: We Can Do Hard Things
Today is my 39th birthday. And I’m spending it in the hospital. With Marjorie. Again. A seemingly innocent cold once again turned to pneumonia. Thankfully, she actually showed signs this time giving me time to act before completely cratering like last time, resulting in five days in the PICU. A few days ago I noticed […]
Save the Nipples: Meeting My Plastic Surgeon
Whether you are getting your yearly OB check, mammogram or plastic surgery consult, standing naked in front of a stranger is not for the faint of heart. This time was no exception. As I stood topless in front of a man I just met, I looked as far away as I could as the plastic […]
When Your Mammogram Isn’t So [Squishy] Funny
I looked around the waiting room, letting the sights, sounds and my reality sink in. Women well over 70-years old bustling around in the same pink robe as me – some waiting for their turn, others finishing their mammograms. I am well aware I am nearing the age of mammograms, but the reality of ‘why’ […]
Betrayed By My DNA
“Hi, McCall. I’m calling with your genetic results.” “Yes, go ahead,” I said into the phone. “You have tested positive for the CHEK2 genetic mutation. As we discussed, this increases your risk of breast cancer 40-percent, as well as an increases your risk for colon and thyroid cancer.” I listened numbly as she […]