Scheduling Grief
“Do you think you could carve out 20-minutes a day to grieve?” I looked up at my therapist after her suggestion and quickly replied, “Nope. I’ll pass, thanks though.” It has become apparent that I have gone from intense grief to completely driving the denial bus. I haven’t shed a tear or grieved in weeks […]
Leaping Once Again
My current state of mind is similar to that of six years ago when I leaping from treatment back out into the ‘real’ world… Journal entry (2.23.2016) “I am feeling lots of things. I am worried about work. I am kind of angry. I want to cry. I want to fall apart. I want to […]
Confession: I Don’t Like My Kids
When I was in middle school my sister and I fought like cats and dogs. Actually, that’s not true. We were worse. Way worse. We fought like two bridezillas at a Vera Wang sample sale. We were vicious. One afternoon my sister and I were verbally abusing each other as we climbed into my mother’s […]
Paying It Forward and Forward Again
Three hours. Three hours was all it took for the feelings to surface and the tears to flow. Three hours and a phone call from my mom. Last week my time in Raleigh consisted of ten talks, two Southern Smash events and two treatment center visits. When it was all over, I was DONE. Think […]
Heading Back to Treatment
Yesterday, in between work emails and changing diapers, I received a text message that stopped me dead in my tracks: “I’m being admitted Thursday at 10:30…relieved but scared.” An admission date and time was finally bestowed upon a sweet young woman I’ve been helping. Reading her text brought back those same emotions I felt on when I […]
Twinsies: Eating Disorders & Cancer
As I sit here today on my five year recovery anniversary, I’m suddenly hit with how similar the questions are and the commonalities between cancer and eating disorders. They are both cruel and relentless diseases. They take lives too young and have greatly impacted my life and my family’s.
Your Fire is Calling. Answer It.
“What do you want to be, McCall? Where is that fire inside telling you to go?” I was 18-years old and just weeks away from starting college. My mom and I were driving to orientation and talking about my future. It was one of those moments and conversations I will forever remember. I wanted nothing […]
Southern Smash: Annual Report
106 Scales SMASHed 150+ Scale Tombstones (Sometimes you need more than one) 148 Smash Ambassadors 500+ Let It Geaux Tags Released 500+ Dare to Love Yourself cards given away 2,496 Social Media Followers 365 SMASHing Days But who’s counting? Numbers do NOT define us and they certainly do not define our success. It is impossible […]
Dressing for Radio
What started yesterday as a typical sarcastic Facebook post of mine, ended with a much deeper meaning: “Preparing for my first radio interview tomorrow. Having trouble deciding on what I should wear ;P” Within seconds, my equally sarcastic Facebook friends responded with suggestions like, “Pony tail,” “Jammies,” “Nude,” and the list goes on. Then a […]
Productive Reflections
It is a soggy morning at SMASH HQ. I love these grey mornings, especially in my new office with its amazing 12-foot window overlooking our front porch. The house is quiet (except for my bulldog, Lilly, snoring under my desk). I find myself unable to be ‘productive’. I hate that word anyway. What does it […]