One Year Gone: Lessons in Grief
My eyes opened well before the sun rose, knowing what today was. My heart ached that same ache I have been experiencing for the last 365 days. A distinct void that will never be filled. I lie in bed and suddenly felt the need to see the sunrise. I threw on my clothes and drove […]
Why I Am Quitting Normal Life
For years I’ve been waiting for a break – a time in my life where everything was good and normal. Through the work of EMDR and the loss of my best friend, I realize life will never be normal because there is no normal – at least the ‘normal’ I always pictured in my head. […]
Dancing Through the Dark
I haven’t been sleeping much lately. A combination of moving stress and the time of year. The dreaded day is quickly approaching and my Facebook Time Hop has been a daily reminder. It is hard to believe that this Saturday, May 27, will mark two years since our Marjorie was diagnosed with cancer. Two years. […]
All Dogs Go to Heaven
10am. My sweet Lola is curled up in my lap as I write. In a few hours, I will give her a final hug and kiss. My precious baby, my first baby. Her body is tired and I can’t bear to watch her suffer anymore. Even Lilly, our bulldog, knows it is time. She is […]
Heading Back to Treatment
Yesterday, in between work emails and changing diapers, I received a text message that stopped me dead in my tracks: “I’m being admitted Thursday at 10:30…relieved but scared.” An admission date and time was finally bestowed upon a sweet young woman I’ve been helping. Reading her text brought back those same emotions I felt on when I […]
2015: Shitting Rainbows
shitting rainbows It’s my favorite saying. If you’ve ever heard me speak about my journey to recovery and life thereafter then you’ve heard me say it plenty. Unless there were teachers in the room, then I try to clean up my act for school kiddies. So what does it mean? Exactly what you think. My […]
Lost and Found
Yesterday, I took my daughter to church for the first time to see (or rather to sleep through) her sweet friend’s baptism. At the party afterwards I found myself choking back tears as I watched family friends parading Marjorie around. We were out of the house and doing something normal. I was finally able to […]
Carolina In My Mind
Tuxedo, North Carolina. Camp Green Cove. My happy place. Camp Green Cove shaped me into the person I am today. The people of Green Cove, and our brother camp Mondamin, are and will always be my family. There is not a doubt in my mind that I am alive because of this place and my camp […]
Tyler Strong
My heart has been heavy this holiday season as we had to say goodbye to an extraordinary woman. Marolyn Tyler Lasuzzo. Born September 21, 1948, to my Great Uncle Ernie and Aunt Hazel. According to my family tree, she was my second cousin, but she and her sisters were always like aunts to me. Growing […]
Death Becomes Her
They say grief comes to us in all shapes and sizes, in every life shift there is loss. Loss of a loved one, a job, a relationship, a friendship, a home, a pet…even the loss of who we used to be. I am finding that recovery comes with much grief, more than I could have […]