Leaping Once Again
My current state of mind is similar to that of six years ago when I leaping from treatment back out into the ‘real’ world… Journal entry (2.23.2016) “I am feeling lots of things. I am worried about work. I am kind of angry. I want to cry. I want to fall apart. I want to […]
An Open Letter to Lady Gaga’s Belly Roll
Dearest Lady Gaga’s Belly Roll, You are causing quite the stir in the social media stratosphere after Sunday’s spectacular Super Bowl Performance. But, if I’m being honest here, I didn’t notice you. I’m so sorry. I completely overlooked your big debut because I was entranced by the performance. To my shock and dismay, Monday’s news […]
Ten Years Later: Love & Laughter Reign
For the last ten years, February 2nd has been a bittersweet day for me. While I wish our wedding day, conjured feelings of love and joy, my heart pulls the opposite way. My day was lost stolen by my eating disorder. This is a notion not many can understand or relate to, even my own […]
Comparison: The Thief of Recovery
Today, December 14, marks six years in recovery for me. I’ll say that again…SIX freaking YEARS. It seems so hard to believe because it feels like yesterday I walked stumbled through the Carolina House doors. I walked through hopeless, broken and tired. I no longer had the energy to fight the monster in my head, much […]
Paying It Forward and Forward Again
Three hours. Three hours was all it took for the feelings to surface and the tears to flow. Three hours and a phone call from my mom. Last week my time in Raleigh consisted of ten talks, two Southern Smash events and two treatment center visits. When it was all over, I was DONE. Think […]
How to Avoid the Freshman 15
The signature Wal-Mart yellow face smiled down on my mom and me as we slowly pushed our buggy through the back to school aisles. I was just a few weeks away from moving out and into my college dorm at Ole Miss. Most freshman fear the move away from home, making friends or getting into a […]
My Husband Saw Me Naked
[Guest Blog for Jacksonville Mom Blog] Soapy suds ran down my naked body in the shower. I closed my eyes in an attempt at one minute of peace in my whirlwind life as a working mom with two babies. No such luck. “Honey,” my husband yelled as he swung open the bathroom door holding Marjorie. […]
On Being Still
Weekends in treatment were slow…and I mean sloooooow. It was so frustrating to have so much downtime in our schedule. We should be ‘working’ and ‘doing’, marking things off our imaginary Recovery To Do list. Having an empty day meant I was being unproductive and lazy. As it turns out, down time at the Carolina House was […]
Cuddling With Fear & Daring to FAIL
Sunday afternoon I found myself in my office catching up on emails. My professional procrastination got the best of me as I began searching the world wide web (read: Facebook). The TedxJacksonville page popped up with its annual call for speakers. I thought back to last year when this popped on my feed, the difference being it […]
Detoxing from a Weekend Binge
Here is what my former eating disordered life looked like: Monday-Thursday: restrict, calorie rules, weighing in 20-40 times per day, diet pills, low fat, no fat, sugar free, fat free Friday-Saturday: Dinner and going out with friends, events, Mardi Gras balls, football games, excessive drinking and eating Sunday: Close the blinds, self-loath, binge, purge, more self-hate […]