Heading Back to Treatment
Yesterday, in between work emails and changing diapers, I received a text message that stopped me dead in my tracks: “I’m being admitted Thursday at 10:30…relieved but scared.” An admission date and time was finally bestowed upon a sweet young woman I’ve been helping. Reading her text brought back those same emotions I felt on when I […]
Twinsies: Eating Disorders & Cancer
As I sit here today on my five year recovery anniversary, I’m suddenly hit with how similar the questions are and the commonalities between cancer and eating disorders. They are both cruel and relentless diseases. They take lives too young and have greatly impacted my life and my family’s.
Your Fire is Calling. Answer It.
“What do you want to be, McCall? Where is that fire inside telling you to go?” I was 18-years old and just weeks away from starting college. My mom and I were driving to orientation and talking about my future. It was one of those moments and conversations I will forever remember. I wanted nothing […]
Smashing the Pregnancy Scale
Tap…Tap…Tap…Tap… The weight kept jolting further and further to the right. Higher and higher. My anxiety raised in parallel unison with the climb of the scale’s number. (Oh, you thought I was immune from scales because I smash them for a living? Not so much.) The nurse silently wrote down a number and I followed […]
Surviving Goodbye
Last week I had the honor of speaking and meeting with the amazing patients of Castlewood. I was touched by their openness and engagement during our time together. I could have sat and talked with them all day. They were full of questions that both challenged and excited my thoughts surrounding eating disorder recovery. As I sat […]
Discovering the Yogi Within
It is no secret my eating disorder kept me from enjoying life and putting myself out there. I feared failure like most people fear burning to death. So rather than risk not being good enough, I stayed safely inside my comfort zone – and by comfort zone I mean eating disorder. But I don’t think […]
Hope Out of the Trash
The Barnes & Noble cashier gave me a soft smile as she checked out my book. I immediately began to sweat profusely. “Oh no,” I thought to myself, “She knows I have an eating disorder and that I see a therapist. She thinks I’m weird and crazy.” Yes, because I bought a book about eating […]
Loving My Body in the Grey
(My Guest Blog post on Love Our Bodies, Love Ourselves) Body image. The elusive positive body image that your treatment team constantly chatters about. Sure it would be nice to love your body, but let’s be real here, the notion of loving your body after spending years hating it is frankly insane. Love my body? […]
An Empty Finish Line
Yesterday, I crossed a finish line. Yep, that was all it was, a finish line. A man-made line in the street to declare the race complete. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course completing a half-marathon is nothing to laugh at. I am super proud of my husband and myself for completing our first race together. But […]
Three Years Naked
No, really, naked. Literally. I am giddy to finally post pictures from the photo shoot a few months back (Gisele, Meet McCall) These pictures represents something extraordinary – ME: recovered, vulnerable, at peace with my body and completely exposed. Three years ago I would not dare post a picture of me in a coverup, much […]