I am HERE.
P!nk’s “I am HERE” has always been one of my go to anthems, but today more than ever the line struck me: “I am here, I am here. I’ve already seen the bottom, so there’s nothing to fear.” I’ve seen the bottom. I’ve seen lots of bottoms in my lifetime – and with each bottom […]
Doing the Hard Things: My Prophylactic Double Mastectomy
‘Twas the Night Before Surgery // Wednesday, January 6, 2021 Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. My eyes were glued to my watch – T-Minus 24-hours. Each passing minute another 60-seconds closer to my prophylactic double mastectomy, my thoughts clouded with future scenarios. “This time tomorrow… I’ll be in surgery…I’ll be out of surgery…I’ll be in post […]
Roadmap to LIFE: Countdown to Surgery
The purple pen dotted my sternum, top to bottom, side to side. In a small mirror leaning on the counter in front of me, I watched as the doctor’s hand moved across my chest. I felt numb. Dot…dot…dot…line…line…. My gaze went from the small, handheld mirror holding my reflection to the blank ceiling above not […]
My 2020 Birthday: We Can Do Hard Things
Today is my 39th birthday. And I’m spending it in the hospital. With Marjorie. Again. A seemingly innocent cold once again turned to pneumonia. Thankfully, she actually showed signs this time giving me time to act before completely cratering like last time, resulting in five days in the PICU. A few days ago I noticed […]
Prayers for Marjorie [Round 3]
Tuesday, January 28, 2020 What a day! Forty-eight hours ago, my girl lay practically lifeless in a PICU bed connected to every machine available. Her breathing was dependent on a mask that covered her whole face and kept me from giving her a million kisses a minute. After another very restful night, Marjorie woke up […]
Finding Stillness and Gratitude In a Heart Attack
If there is one thing I’ve learned in my journey with Marjorie, it is that life can change in the blink of an eye. No matter how much we plan or perfectly color code our calendars, life happens.
And with adversity comes miracles. My family and I are counting our blessings extra this Thanksgiving as we received a miracle that could only be written by God Himself…
Ditching the BUSY Diet
Yesterday, I almost forgot to eat…almost. It was one of those work from your car, the hair salon and be the kids’ chauffeur kind of days. I couldn’t help but think of a diet I used to be a big fan of – the BUSY Diet. I grew up hearing the phrase, “I was so […]
When Grief, Cancer and Life Collide
I knew today was going to be tough – returning to GaGa’s house for the first time. Little did I know today would put me to the ultimate grief and trauma test. Mom, Marjorie and I drove to GaGa’s home. I felt good, but nervous. I entered her home through her back door and immediately […]
The Decline of a Matriarch
Years ago, I wrote about my desire to schedule mortality. If God could just send me a time frame of life that would be great. I could be prepared and “ready” for life’s losses and spare my heart the ache. Of course, life doesn’t work like that. So today I find myself on a plane, […]
Tone Your Body With Love [Not Zero Point Tacos]
It is January 3rd and I have seen approximately 389,876 weight loss ads. My inner scale smasher cringes every time I see Oprah dancing in her kitchen eating ‘freestyle’ tacos. So here is my PSA to all of you: changing your body will not change who YOU inherently are. We come in ALL shapes and sizes. […]