When You Don’t Fit the PTSD Mold
I just discovered today is National PTSD Awareness Day. I thought I would take a minute and remind everyone that PTSD (like any other disorder) does not black and white criteria or checklist. You do not have to fit perfectly into the diagnostic box to struggle. a well-defined black and white box. Recently, I have […]
Eleven Years Later and Still Recovering
Today marks eleven years in eating disorder recovery for me. December 14, 2010, I walked through the doors of residential treatment scared, hopeless and willing to do anything to build a life worth living. Last night in our Alliance Monday night support group, we discussed “Is full recovery possible?” Cliff notes: YES IT IS. AND…it […]
The Scale that Almost Divided Us
Something happened yesterday that jarred me… As I unwrapped and loaded scales in boxes for our Alliance for Eating Disorders NOT ONE MORE walk in Orlando, Jordan came over and tossed a scale on the ground. He is a lighthearted, joking guy and was going to step on the scale. I immediately grabbed it from […]
Happy [Grieving] Birthday to Me
Maybe it is because her house is empty or maybe because it is Christmas, maybe it is because President George H. W. Bush’s funeral is all over the news or maybe it is because my birthday is tomorrow or maybe because it is another day that ends in ‘Y’… Lately, I have been missing her […]
Ditching the BUSY Diet
Yesterday, I almost forgot to eat…almost. It was one of those work from your car, the hair salon and be the kids’ chauffeur kind of days. I couldn’t help but think of a diet I used to be a big fan of – the BUSY Diet. I grew up hearing the phrase, “I was so […]
Where I Finally Found Peace In My Best Friend’s Death
I’ve always been curious about cemeteries. I think it’s human nature. They always seemed so peaceful to me, but I was so afraid of them, always shuddering at their perfect mix of death, serenity and beauty. When I was in grade school and middle school, I spent every weekend at GaGa’s house. Literally, every weekend. […]
Scheduling Grief
“Do you think you could carve out 20-minutes a day to grieve?” I looked up at my therapist after her suggestion and quickly replied, “Nope. I’ll pass, thanks though.” It has become apparent that I have gone from intense grief to completely driving the denial bus. I haven’t shed a tear or grieved in weeks […]
Because Not Even Jesus Could Do It All
This working mom thing has been kicking my ass lately. I do my best to manage my foundation, mentoring folks in recovery, while also taking care ofmy family, pets (because that struggle is real) and the house. On the days that end in ‘y’, I feel pulled in a thousand directions, never completing one task […]
Why I Am Quitting Normal Life
For years I’ve been waiting for a break – a time in my life where everything was good and normal. Through the work of EMDR and the loss of my best friend, I realize life will never be normal because there is no normal – at least the ‘normal’ I always pictured in my head. […]
The Day I Didn’t Want to SMASH
On Monday, for the first time since starting Southern Smash five years ago, I woke up and didn’t want to go to the Southern Smash event. I wanted to stay curled in bed with the covers over my head. I wanted to sink into a hole and never come out. But I got up and […]