Roll With It
It is going to take some time for my feet to touch the ground. I am back at treatment, but not in that way. Last fall I got an email from my former therapist asking if I would be interested to come share my story in a new group forum. I was so touched the […]
Six Hours
CHRISTMAS DAY•2010 9:45am The day had finally arrived. As the bright red rental car pulled into the house’s long driveway, I darted out of the door and, much to the dismay of the treatment staff, I ran as fast as I could to the car. I opened the door and fell into the arms of […]
12.14.10
Two years. How does that happen? It feels like yesterday. To me, it still was just yesterday. December 14, 2010 The day I entered the Carolina House, a place that would forever alter the course of my life. The day I put all my trust and faith into the incredible treatment team’s loving hands. The […]
Magic Pill: Take As Directed
Why did I recover? What made me so special over others who continue to struggle with their eating disorders? How did I keep on my path of recovery after treatment, while so many of my friends sunk back into the darkness of their disorders? Why me? These questions incessantly repeated themselves in my mind last […]
Forever a Rocketchix.
Throughout my life I have let exterior things define me. Whether it was appearance, grades, sorority, jobs or sports, I relied on something else to shape that who I was. Recovery has taught me to define my authentic self with, well…just me. This is not to say the other activities and things are not in […]
Sunday Love.
I used to hate Sundays…I mean despise them. Sundays were tortured, lonely days…just me and my eating disorder. Because my weeks were spent in severe restriction and my weekends were spent eating and drinking like a ‘regular’ person, my Sundays were filled with overwhelming guilt and a gut wrenching sickness. They were my day to […]
Second Letter to ED: NBD No More.
This letter was written approximately one year after the first letter I wrote to my eating disorder (Letter to Ed). It is interesting to go back and note the difference between the two. The first was written only six months into my outpatient treatment and the second was written a year later while I was […]
Haunted.
Life in recovery is anything but easy. Sure, my life is 10,000 times better than what it once was, but to be perfectly honest part of me just feels like I have to say that…life is so much better now…yadda, yadda, yadda. There is much honesty and truth in that statement, but I also think […]
FAITH.
Faith: something I lost to my eating disorder, but I don’t think I realized I lost it until I had it back. One of the most beautiful things about recovery has been rediscovering my faith…keyword being MY faith. Not my parents’, not my teachers’, not my husband’s…but mine. As a child, you obviously lean toward […]
Recovery Truths
After 15+ years of living in the fog of my eating disorder, I am finally living my life in full, vivid color. This month I will celebrate my eighth month in recovery from my eating disorder. I have gained much in my short time in recovery…learning many lessons and recovery truths along the way. I […]