The Phone Call
Today, I experienced one of those full circle moments in life that takes your breath away. For the past two days, I attended an eating disorder conference and saw many, many friends some of whom I haven’t seen since Marjorie was born. I received numerous hugs, arm squeezes and sympathetic head nods. I loved and […]
Cancer Prayers & Mental Illness Murmurs
No matter how many activities I packed into today, time seemed to stand still. My heart raced and my mind was dizzy. I have been to yoga, taken kids to a bouncy house park and lunch and the quiet still creeps up on me. It is always there in the back of my head. The […]
Welcome to the Club, We Don’t Want You
Wednesday, May 27, 2015 Our nurse leaned over Marjorie’s hospital crib and placed her stethoscope on Marjorie’s sick and distended belly. My eyes fell to the multiple bright rubber bracelets wrapped around the neck of her stethescope. Words like “Warrior” “Fighter” “Army” followed by a child’s name were imprinted on each band. I knew those […]
2015: Shitting Rainbows
shitting rainbows It’s my favorite saying. If you’ve ever heard me speak about my journey to recovery and life thereafter then you’ve heard me say it plenty. Unless there were teachers in the room, then I try to clean up my act for school kiddies. So what does it mean? Exactly what you think. My […]
Why I’ll Never Take Dirty Dishes For Granted
Why I’ll Never Take Dirty Dishes For Granted Guest post written for Red Stick Mom’s Blog “Sunday evening, I stood over a sink of dirty dishes and my eyes welled with tears. Manning, Jordan and Marjorie were playing in the living room. Giggles and happy squeals filled our house with noise. Happy noise. In that […]
Muddling Through Grief
Grief is a funny thing. One minute you are doing laundry and paying bills, the next you are in a puddle of tears, frozen from the rest of the day’s to dos. I always thought grief was strictly assigned to the death of a loved one. It wasn’t until my eating disorder recovery I realized […]
Mom Fear: Speak It, Shout It
Guest blog written for New Orleans Mom Blog … Anxiety built through my veins like a warehouse fire. I was leaving my daughter, Marjorie, for the first time with a sitter I did not know. I was flying to speak at the National Eating Disorder Association conference in California. I would be gone three days. […]
To My Darling Daughter On Your First Birthday
To my darling daughter, One year ago, my world came crashing down and you came kicking in. Small, but mighty, you proved that size means nothing. Born into this world at 2:08pm, the nurse quickly held up your tiny 1-pound, 15-ounce body and took you away. I didn’t get to hold you or nuzzle you or even […]
Taking Off the Mom Hat
This morning I found myself sitting on my new back porch, warm cup of coffee and listening to the morning silence around me. The sun danced off the moss draped trees behind our house and I found myself full of gratitude. My spirit is renewed and my cup is refilled after spending a week doing […]
Foreboding Joy
Let me set the scene: I currently live somewhere between gratitude and sheer anxiety and terror. My to-do list is light years long and it is completely trumped by my fear over what may or may not happen to my children. I mean, can you blame me? Within a year, my daughter has spent more […]