Tears of Strength, Cries of Bravery
‘My daughter has cancer’ is a sentence I will never get used to saying outline, nor do I want to. Today, I had to tell that to a stranger in the grocery store when she asked about Marjorie’s PICC line. “My daughter has cancer.” Her simple question was one of the hardest I’ve ever had to […]
Cancer: Month One
One month. On this very day one month ago, our lives changed forever. The doctor said the word no parent ever wants to hear. Cancer. It has been a month of terror, love, heartache and gratitude. It’s hard to believe it has only been a month. My tired body and mind would disagree. It feels like we […]
Lost and Found
Yesterday, I took my daughter to church for the first time to see (or rather to sleep through) her sweet friend’s baptism. At the party afterwards I found myself choking back tears as I watched family friends parading Marjorie around. We were out of the house and doing something normal. I was finally able to […]
Four Years: Finding Rainbows in the Storm
December 14, 2010, a day that forever changed my life and ultimately prepared me for what life had in store. Fours years ago I would have never guessed that my eating disorder would be the greatest gift in what would ultimately become the most traumatic time in my life. This year my world suddenly and drastically changed on […]
A God Wink
God winks are what happens when the stars align and something impossible suddenly becomes possible. That happened today and the result was well, spectacular. From October until late spring, the NICU has a strict policy on visitors: parents and grandparents ONLY. Its purpose is to keep babies safe during flu season. Tuesday night I got […]
Life Lessons from Miraculous Marjorie
Marjorie Mims Dempsey took the world and our hearts by storm two weeks ago. In just fourteen days she has taught me countless life lessons. She has inspired so many of us with her feisty spirit and small but mighty attitude. So on her fourteenth day of life, I think it is fitting to jot […]
Finding a New Normal
Today I kissed my baby girl goodbye through her plexiglass incubator. My heart shattered. Jordan reminded me that I would be right back the next day, but that did little to ease the massive ache in my heart. I was leaving the hospital. She was not. And that was not fair. Every where I turned there […]
Smashing the Pregnancy Scale
Tap…Tap…Tap…Tap… The weight kept jolting further and further to the right. Higher and higher. My anxiety raised in parallel unison with the climb of the scale’s number. (Oh, you thought I was immune from scales because I smash them for a living? Not so much.) The nurse silently wrote down a number and I followed […]
Brave Boys Cry
2.17.2014 To my dearest son, As I write you on your second birthday, I can’t help but be overwhelmed with the amount of love I have for you and the joy you bring to my life. If these past two years are any indication as to how fast time moves, you will be riding your first […]
Shhh…I love my body.
It is a different sensation to not hate your body. Essentially, I am going against everything I was programmed to know and innately despise. But today, I love my body. Shhhhhh. Did I just say that? Gasp! What will friends think? What will I have to say during those body-bashing lunches? Nothing! Damn that feels […]