May’s Voice
Sometimes I wonder what I am doing and why I was put on this earth. It is a big question to ponder. On a daily basis, I feel a fire and urge in my soul to be kind and help others. I want to scream from the mountains that we all deserve a life free from […]
Tears of Strength, Cries of Bravery
‘My daughter has cancer’ is a sentence I will never get used to saying outline, nor do I want to. Today, I had to tell that to a stranger in the grocery store when she asked about Marjorie’s PICC line. “My daughter has cancer.” Her simple question was one of the hardest I’ve ever had to […]
Compassionate Pizza
I hate the saying: “There’s always someone who has it worse.” It completely minimizes the feelings we have inside about our current situation, no matter how ‘bad’ or ‘not so bad’ it may be. Minimization kept me from seeking treatment for years and it kept me from owning the severity of my eating disorder. “I’m not that […]
Cancer: Month One
One month. On this very day one month ago, our lives changed forever. The doctor said the word no parent ever wants to hear. Cancer. It has been a month of terror, love, heartache and gratitude. It’s hard to believe it has only been a month. My tired body and mind would disagree. It feels like we […]
Lost and Found
Yesterday, I took my daughter to church for the first time to see (or rather to sleep through) her sweet friend’s baptism. At the party afterwards I found myself choking back tears as I watched family friends parading Marjorie around. We were out of the house and doing something normal. I was finally able to […]
Pro Choice: Choosing Life in the Darkness
Small choices. Tiny decisions. Day by day. This is recovery. Recovery is not perfect. It is not a straight line. Recovery does not happen overnight. It happens when you decide to get out of bed and get dressed, even though your depression is so gruesome it hurts. It happens when you decide to eat your snack, […]
Smashing the Pregnancy Scale
Tap…Tap…Tap…Tap… The weight kept jolting further and further to the right. Higher and higher. My anxiety raised in parallel unison with the climb of the scale’s number. (Oh, you thought I was immune from scales because I smash them for a living? Not so much.) The nurse silently wrote down a number and I followed […]
Rubber Food SmackDown
I often write about people and professionals who have greatly impacted my recovery journey, but there has been one professional category that I have yet to write about. The Nutritionist. (Insert negative ‘Dun-dun-dun’ music here.) Nutritionists get the worst rap out of anyone on the ED Treatment team. Not to mention, they also own various pieces […]
Hope Out of the Trash
The Barnes & Noble cashier gave me a soft smile as she checked out my book. I immediately began to sweat profusely. “Oh no,” I thought to myself, “She knows I have an eating disorder and that I see a therapist. She thinks I’m weird and crazy.” Yes, because I bought a book about eating […]
Guest Blog: DREAM HUGE!
I was honored when my friend and mentor, Jenni Schaefer, asked me to guest blog for her “Dream Big” blog series. Eating disorders blind us from having dreams, but the light of recovery opens our eyes to dreams we never imagined possible. What’s your dream? Here is mine…