Six Weeks Gone
Yesterday marked six weeks since my best friend passed. It feels like yesterday and a lifetime all rolled together. She is on my mind and heart nonstop. Some days are easier than others, but the wound still runs deep. I am discovering that grief is like a silent ninja that attacks out of nowhere. Just […]
Our Heavenly Valentine
They say holidays are hard after losing a loved one and to that I say, every damn day is hard. I thought L.A. might be the breath of fresh air I needed and it was in many ways, but my heart remains so hollow. Every day is a new reminder. A new reason I pick […]
Two Weeks Gone
My eyes flew open at 4am and my heart sunk. Two weeks. Two weeks ago my best friend left this earth. Two weeks since I spoke to her, held her hand, hugged her. This is the longest I have ever gone without speaking to GaGa. I keep calling her number, but no one picks up. […]
My Best Friend’s Eulogy
The cold dirt slid through my finger tips as the frigid wet ground soaked through my jeans. I wrapped my arm around my mom and leaned my body into hers. She leaned right back into me and together, we held each other up. It had only been a day since we laid GaGa to rest […]
Forever and Always Our GaGa
As many of you know, my beloved GaGa passed away yesterday morning in her sleep. Today has been harder than yesterday. I have picked up my phone countless times to call her. Today, I wrote the most difficult and most important thing in my life. I wrote my best friend’s obituary. It has been a […]
Reversing Roles
When I was little, I would sit in GaGa’s rocking chair, cuddling up as close as I could next to her. Everyone called me her velcro baby. Gaga would scratch my back and stroke my hair while I curled up next to her. When I no longer fit in her chair, I would sit at […]
The Decline of a Matriarch
Years ago, I wrote about my desire to schedule mortality. If God could just send me a time frame of life that would be great. I could be prepared and “ready” for life’s losses and spare my heart the ache. Of course, life doesn’t work like that. So today I find myself on a plane, […]
2017: Imperfectly Perfecting the Art of Letting Go
The end of the year has become synonymous with Instagram’s ‘Top Nine’. Your Top nine most liked photos of the year. It is a fun and quick way for a year in review. I, being the social media nerd that I am, do it every year. As usual, my Top Nine popped up some of […]
Yes, I Painted My Sons Nails. What’s Your Point?
This morning the girls found my nail polish bin. Amelié, my niece, picked out a hot pink and gave it to me. I sat her on the floor and began painting her nails. Marjorie followed suit with a bright yellow colored polish. Manning came in and asked what we were doing. I told him we […]
Pardon Me While I Feed My Kids Kale and Chemicals
Last night, I posted a picture of my children enjoying ice cream sandwiches following dinner with a caption that said: “Years ago, I would spend nearly an hour in the grocery store’s ice cream section. Opening and closing every glass door, pulling every carton out and quickly putting it back in. My mind raced as […]