The Best News We Never Expected
We are now with the ‘survivorship’ doctor. Because we are over five years out from treatment and cancer free…
We talked through current concerns and the future of Marjorie’s treatment journey.
And then she said something I was not expecting…
My 2020 Birthday: We Can Do Hard Things
Today is my 39th birthday. And I’m spending it in the hospital. With Marjorie. Again. A seemingly innocent cold once again turned to pneumonia. Thankfully, she actually showed signs this time giving me time to act before completely cratering like last time, resulting in five days in the PICU. A few days ago I noticed […]
Five Years Later: Finding Light in Cancer’s Hollow
Wednesday, May 27, 2015 “Your daughter has cancer.” What happened next I do not know. My world stopped. My heart shattered into a million pieces… and the hollow crept in. Five years ago today, my life came to a screeching halt as cancer came crashing in. In the early morning hours after Marjorie’s cancer diagnosis, […]
I AM BRAVE! Marjorie’s Story
How do you tell your child they had cancer? How do you explain the magnitude of their first year of life?
You don’t. Well you do…when the time is right.
Today we had our yearly oncology appointment. I drag my heels making this appointment I dread it. This year I got a sinking feeling, not that cancer had returned (that lives in the back of your mind), but that Marjorie would ask me WHY?
When Grief, Cancer and Life Collide
I knew today was going to be tough – returning to GaGa’s house for the first time. Little did I know today would put me to the ultimate grief and trauma test. Mom, Marjorie and I drove to GaGa’s home. I felt good, but nervous. I entered her home through her back door and immediately […]
Why I Am Quitting Normal Life
For years I’ve been waiting for a break – a time in my life where everything was good and normal. Through the work of EMDR and the loss of my best friend, I realize life will never be normal because there is no normal – at least the ‘normal’ I always pictured in my head. […]
The Final Elf on the Shelf
I had my first holiday break down this week. The shopping, the cards, work piling up, kids home from school…it all got to me. I resorted to wrapping presents until early morning hours to calm my frazzled nerves. I thought wrapping the mountain of gifts would make the stress go away. Nope. I woke up […]
My Birthday Gift of Darkness
Tomorrow, December 7, is my birthday. However, I will not be with my family and friends. Rather, I will be surrounded with love, pain, joy, sadness, hope and courage. I will spend my birthday with the brave men and women at Castlewood Treatment Center in St. Louis, Missouri. I truly cannot think of anywhere else I would […]
To My Daughter on Your 2nd Birthday
To my dearest daughter on your second birthday, I wish I could look back on this day with loving memories and joy. But I can’t. Your birth date was one of the most difficult days of my life. I will never forget the sounds and sterile surroundings of the OR room. Your daddy sat behind […]
Grieving One September at a Time
I hate September. I haven’t always hated September. It wasn’t until last year that I really started to loathe the month. Sure, I hate summer ending, but it wasn’t about swimsuit season coming to an end. It was about all of the gold. So much gold. All for pediatric cancer. I wanted to delete, unfollow […]