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October 29, 2017

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My girl is five years CANCER FREE!!!! She is a wa

My girl is five years CANCER FREE!!!! She is a warrior. A cheetah. A SURVIVOR!! Grateful does not describe how I felt when I saw her results from last week’s appointment. No matter how many years pass, my anxiety around those appointments will always be high. Marjorie still has no understanding of the fight she fought her first year of life. All she knows is that life is wonderful and every day is a great day to dance and smile! It seems fitting these Mom and Me yoga mats arrived from @be.jollie this week. Marjorie picked the butterfly mat and of course I had to go for the cheetah. What a God wink these precious mats are...for every mat purchased the company sends a mat to pediatric cancer patients AND they are all about mindful movement and honoring our bodies. Marjorie is already using hers for downward dogs and dance concerts. Thankful for my HEALTHY and spunky ballerina who kicked cancer to the curb and hasn’t looked back since!! 🎗💗🎗💗🎗💗🎗💗 #miraculousmarjorie #fiveyears #cancerfree #pediatriccancer #cancersurvivor #gogold #neuroblastoma #smallbutmighty #godwinkgifts #perfecttiming #yogamats #mindfulmovement #companywithaheart #yoga #kidsyoga #momlife #motherdaughter #proudmom

If this past year had taught us anything it is tha

If this past year had taught us anything it is that God is not confined to the walls of a church. Jordan’s work schedule keeps us from taking vacations and Marjorie’s health has kept us in a serious bubble this year. So when Jordan was able to take two days off we jumped at the chance for a little get away. I woke up today thinking of two people: Gaga and Adam Barksdale. Easter was always a special time with my bestie Gaga. We would go to church and soak up the colorful flowers. Easter always reminds me of Adam, but especially today. It’s been 11 years since we’ve seen his amazing smile. He lived large and loved bigger than anyone. Today I woke up feeling extra grateful - for my family, our health and the extraordinary angels watching from above. My lifelong bestie @laurenbarksdalehill posted the pic of she and her brother along with this bible verse that hit home for me today. Maybe it will for you. Happy Easter to all who celebrate. Share a smile like Adam did and soak up the colorful flowers like Gaga. Life is precious. 💙💗🐰🙏🏻✝️

We Can Do Hard Things: Marjorie’s Turn Today wa

We Can Do Hard Things: Marjorie’s Turn Today was our yearly oncology appointment and initial pulmonology appointment to figure out why on earth Marjorie has had pneumonia THREE times in a year. I got in the car following the marathon appointment day and just sobbed. Tears of relief, grief and gratitude. All the emotions I had been hanging on to poured out. Each year leading up to the appointment, I wake up in the middle of the night fearing all the things: is cancer back? Is Marjorie going to be afraid? Do we have lingering issues from her premature birth or cancer? What is something is REALLY wrong? What if I can’t fix her? It NEVER gets easy walking into a pediatric oncology floor. My stomach drops each time we enter, but then I can’t help but smile when we see our amazing team. I feel so grateful we only have to go once a year AND at the same time I am so damn mad that we were ever dealt the cancer card. Holding space for all the feels is a beautiful and exhausting thing. Marjorie was her warrior self - cheerful and chatty with everyone. Even bravely walking into the big x-ray room! When she spotted the needle for the blood draw at her oncology appointment, she shrank in fear. My heart shattered. BUT in true Marjorie fashion, she began saying, “I can do hard things.” While the nurse stuck her, she repeated “I am BRAVE! I am BRAVE!” She cried. I cried. And then we all cheered and had a ‘light party!” Marjorie NEVER shies away from a party. And yes, there was, of course, a Target trip and girls lunch to celebrate our BRAVE warrior SURVIVOR. Proud momma is an understatment. Go Marjorie GO - We CAN do HARD THINGS! #miraculousmarjorie #neuroblastoma #pediatriccancer #cancersurvivor #micropreemie #27weeker #smallbutmighty #wecandohardthings #overandover #thanksmissG #wolfsonwarrior #nemours #grateful #findthelight #prayitforward #bravegirl #mygirl #girlmom #targetshoppingspree #targetgirl #proudmom #momlife #gogold #morethanfour #jacksonville #florida

💥💉Vaccinated 💉💥 If there was a silver

💥💉Vaccinated 💉💥 If there was a silver lining to my boob drama, it is this! Finally, Leftie bringing in a value add with giving me the ability to be vaccinated. I feel such relief as I see so many people I love receiving their vaccinations. I’ve tried so hard to be safe this year mainly because my Marjorie does not fair well with a cold, much less Covid! This is one step closer to a full Covid exhale for me. Here’s to continuing to stay safe and healthy. Grateful for all the doctors and scientists who made this possible. Shout out to @baptisthealthjx who has not saved my girl and me countless times, but has done a stellar job getting our community vaccinated! 💪❤️💉💥 #covid19 #covid19vacccine #grateful #cantwaittotravel #takemetothedeltaskyclub #seriously #myhappyplace #kidfreetraveldreams #healthy #firstcoast #baptisthospital #jacksonville #pontevedra #florida

Life Lessons from my Miraculous Marjorie... What

Life Lessons from my Miraculous Marjorie... What Marjorie lacks in physical strength, she makes up for in smiles. Today, I watched my peanut grin ear to ear throughout her swim lesson. The other kids in her class are faster and stronger. They fly by her on their kick-boards, leaving her in their wake. Literally. I worried she would get discouraged, but week after week she gleefully makes her little splashes as she slowly kicks down the lane - flashing a huge grin with every breath. I work hard not to project my own worry to my kids (aka my inner child panic of being left out or not ‘perfect’ at everything). Instead, I wait for them to show me their comfort zone and they never cease to amaze me. Taking a page out of my spunky girl’s playbook: 🏊🏻‍♀️stay positive 🏊🏻‍♀️don’t compare yourself to others ...and above all else stay in your lane with a SMILE 😀 But don’t be fooled. Her smile turned to sass when we got home and she declared “Mom, I can make my OWN decisions!” 🤦🏼‍♀️🥴🥴 💗💗💗 #miraculousmarjorie #27weeker #cancersurvivor #pediatriccancer #smallbutMIGHTY #neuroblastoma #positiveattitude #mygirl #girlmom #sassyandsmart #pontevedra #florida

No. Just no. No. No. 🙅‍♀️ Manning (3rd g

No. Just no. No. No. 🙅‍♀️ Manning (3rd grade) came home with this in his folder. Sadly, I have become accustomed to these harmful “nutrition” education pieces, but this one takes the cake (pun intended). 🎂 🤦‍♀️Labeling food as junk, bad, off limits creates a harmful moral hierarchy of food in a child’s head. “I’m bad if I eat a donut” Kids need to be taught ALL FOODS FIT and we can best teach them this by modeling it ourselves. 🤦‍♀️Talk about calories and nutrition labels are not appropriate for third graders...or any grade school child. Their brains are not developed to cognitively understand the complexities of nutrition- including the diet obsessed world we live in. 🤦‍♀️Don’t even get me started on the mention of the “O” word. There is just too much to unpack. Kids need to understand that our bodies come in ALL shapes and sizes - large, small, short, tall! I might not be able to globally eliminate this toxic education (yet! Team @allianceforeda works every day on it!), but we can work together to teach (and show) our kids: ✔️All foods fit ✔️All bodies are good bodies ✔️To listen and trust their bodies There is so much noise and diet culture in our world. The best thing you can do is keep it OUT of your home and use things like this to open the conversation with your child. What do YOU think about this and how do you talk to your kids about food and body? ⤵️ 👦🧒👧👶Favorite family/child resources to follow: @sunnysideupnutritionists @annalutzrd @katzavrd @v_solesmith @katjarowellmd @mamaknows_nutrition

Here is what I have found about doing the hard thi

Here is what I have found about doing the hard things - the “doing” isn't always the hardest part. Sometimes the most difficult part is leaning in to the knowing that the sun will rise again AND embracing it when it does. It is often so hard to find the light when in the midst of the storm. Even when I come out of the storm, the fear of its return keeps me from embracing and soaking in the light. After being tossed one hell of an infection and another round of hard things, I have not only been physically hurting, but emotionally hurting too. I have lived in a state of 'dress rehearsing tragedy' as @brenebrown says...waiting (and knowing) for the infection to return. This week, the fearful knot in my stomach slowly unraveled and for the first time in 2021, I have felt the sun and leaned into feeling GOOD. I told my therapist this morning I am afraid to say that I feel good, scared I will jinx myself back into the hospital. She happily squealed for me to say it over and over, embracing that, for this moment - life is good. So today (from the carpool lane 🚗 ) I am choosing peace and sunshine, knowing it will not last forever but it is here now and I plan to soak up every minute of it. ☀️ #doingthehardthings #onrepeat #carpoolthinking #embracethelight #wecandohardthings #mantraoflife #thankyouglennon #prophylacticmastectomy #gonewrong #chek2 #genetictesting #geneticmutation #recovery #leaningin #stormswillpass #mindfulness #mentalheathmatters #smashthestigma #allianceforeda

“Just smile and look pretty.” “You should qu

“Just smile and look pretty.” “You should quit college just get married and make pretty babies.” “Stop being sensitive.” “You’re too loud.” “Smile more.” Here’s to our girls never being told the lies we were told (and often believed). Here’s to our girls continuing to lift each other up and smash every ceiling TOGETHER. Here’s to our girls never dulling their sparkle or changing who they are. Here’s to our GIRLS. #internationalwomensday And to my Marjorie...never stop rocking all the sparkles. Never stop shining and being imperfectly and amazingly YOU! #whorunstheworld #girls #womensupportingwomen #wecandohardthings #together #miraculousmarjorie #bravegirlwalking

An update from under the paper chest vest... It’s been a hard and painful week. Recovery is two steps forward and then face plant, oddly similar to another recovery journey I’ve been through 🤔 It’s been over a month since I’ve written. Lately, I start writing and then delete it all, doubting myself and my experience. But something tonight pulled me to share or I guess you could say get a few things off my chest 🤪 Sharing “The Weight of Recovery” on the blog. 💗💗 #wecandohardthings #overandover #prophylacticmastectomy #recovery #genetictesting #chek2 #expanderssuck #mdandersoncancercenter #beatingcancertothepunch

I’m not sure what hour we are on, but today’s

I’m not sure what hour we are on, but today’s NOT ONE MORE @allianceforeda 16 hour eating disorder support group marathon has been nothing short of extraordinary. We started at 8am and have had folks from across the globe tune in every hour. From individuals to friends and family to partners to LGBTQ+ and everything in between, it has been (and continues to be) an unforgettable day - many groups log over 100 individuals! What I would’ve given to have these support groups in my early recovery days. To hear someone say “Me too” is truly a gift and I’m so damn proud and honored to “sit” with every individual and loved one who have showed up today. Awareness and support does not end today. It’s what we @allianceforeda do every day and we will never stop until #NotOneMore life is lost to this horrific illness. There’s still plenty of groups left to go. I’ll be back on for 8pm and our amazing 10pm group highlighting stories of recovery. Join me...won’t you? Register now at notonemore.co 💙💙💙 #supportgroupathon #notonemore #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #allianceforeda #cantstopwontstop #edsupport #yourenotalone #mentalhealth #smashthestigma #wecandohardthings #mentalhealthmatters

Years before I actually sat in a therapist’s cou

Years before I actually sat in a therapist’s couch, I would Google “eating disorders”. I knew I was struggling, but was too ashamed to admit it out loud. I also did not know who to call or where to turn. Today, I implore you to post and share THIS image. You never know who might see it. Your post could literally save a life. Every 52-minutes someone loses their life as a direct result of an eating disorder. That could have been me. @allianceforeda is the only national organization with licensed therapist answering the phones and connecting you to the level of care you need and deserve. Call today. 866.662.1235 You are NOT alone. Help is available and recovery is possible. Please REPOST. It could save a life. #NotOneMore 💙💙💙 #payitforward #smashthestigma #reachout #allianceforeda #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #recoveryispossible #hope #healing

For the past eight weeks, I have received an abund

For the past eight weeks, I have received an abundance of love, messages and prayers as I journeyed through my prophylactic double mastectomy and unexpected infection. People have sent cards, dinners, self-care gifts and everything in between. I have felt so loved and supported. But I pose this question to you - would you do the same if your friend or loved one suffered from an eating disorder (or any mental illness)? It is easy to share posts about physical illness, but have you ever shared a post about eating disorders? Eating disorders are complicated, messy and don’t appear like the Lifetime Tracy Gold movie we all saw in high school. Mental illness is just as real as physical - and it’s imperative we let people know it is OKAY to ask for HELP. Eating disorders cannot be seen. They affect all bodies, sizes, genders, races, sexuality. We are losing people to eating disorders at an alarming rate - every 52-minutes. So all the love you have given me, I ask you to take that love, check on your friends (like really check on them) and spread much needed awareness. The more we tell people it is okay to ask for help, the more lives we save. Tomorrow is our National Day of Support, kicking off @allianceforeda NOT ONE MORE weekend. Tomorrow, will you join me in SMASHing the stigma and let your loved ones know it’s OKAY to ask for help? 🔨💙🔨💙🔨💙 . . . . . . . #smashthestigma #notonemore #eatingdisorderawareness #allianceforeda #southernsmash #eatingdisorderrecovery #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #smashthestigma #bethechange

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The Weight of Recovery
Finding Strength in My One Boob Reflection
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Recent Posts

The Weight of Recovery
Finding Strength in My One Boob Reflection
Red, Hot and ANGRY Boob
Doing the Hard Things: My Prophylactic Double Mastectomy
Roadmap to LIFE: Countdown to Surgery
Ten Years Later and Still Choosing LIFE
My 2020 Birthday: We Can Do Hard Things

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