When Your Therapist Says ‘Tell Me More’ – Don’t Run
After months of barely floating above water, I am finally finding my footing on life’s uneven shores. Last week I had a therapy session, and as much as I adore my therapist, I was simply not ‘in the mood’ to go. The appointment was at 2pm and I was having a really productive day in […]
Unplanning Death
Death is never a pleasant subject. I have never handled death well and it seems to be knocking at my proverbial door more than ever. Not in an ominous/grim reaper way, but as a reminder of past suffering. The aftermath of Marjorie’s early birth and cancer, resulted in PTSD that manifested in massive anxiety about […]
When the [RECOVERY] Jeans Don’t Fit
Are you more inclined to purchase one jean brand over another because the size is smaller?
That is certainly how I used to shop. My worth as a human being was tied into the size of my clothes and the number on the scale. The smaller the number, the more worth I carried as a human being.
I was smarter, faster, better if my size was smaller than the next person.
WHY? Or better yet WHEN did size become a predictor of worth in our lives?
The Scale that Almost Divided Us
Something happened yesterday that jarred me… As I unwrapped and loaded scales in boxes for our Alliance for Eating Disorders NOT ONE MORE walk in Orlando, Jordan came over and tossed a scale on the ground. He is a lighthearted, joking guy and was going to step on the scale. I immediately grabbed it from […]
How I Finally Lost the Holiday Weight
I have been feeling heavier than ever these past few weeks. My anxiety high and emotional fuse short. I knew this time of year would be hard – my first holiday in grief, but I had no idea just how much the heaviness would weigh me down. My grief has manifested in an array of […]
The Scanxiety Dance
This blog has always been a place of comfort and my personal way of therapeutic processing. Through my eating disorder recovery, Marjorie’s early birth and of course, Marjorie’s cancer. It is only fitting that on this day, I find myself back here, trying to process the surge of emotions bubbling inside. Ever since I heard […]
Breaking My Silence
For the last six years, my blog has been my journal, my sanctuary and place to heal. Blogging became my therapeutic outlet. I didn’t care who, if anyone, read it. Blogging was simply about shining light on my life – the good, the bad and the imperfect. I haven’t logged on over three months – […]
Pardon Me While I Feed My Kids Kale and Chemicals
Last night, I posted a picture of my children enjoying ice cream sandwiches following dinner with a caption that said: “Years ago, I would spend nearly an hour in the grocery store’s ice cream section. Opening and closing every glass door, pulling every carton out and quickly putting it back in. My mind raced as […]
Dear Anti-Diet Community, Be NICE!
To my dearest anti-diet community, I get it. I totally get that every diet post, cleanse, and celebrity detox makes your skin crawl. I. GET. IT. I’m on your team, but I am not behind the shame storm that happens when someone decides to go on a diet or change their eating habits. Recently, I awoke […]
Heading Back to Treatment
Yesterday, in between work emails and changing diapers, I received a text message that stopped me dead in my tracks: “I’m being admitted Thursday at 10:30…relieved but scared.” An admission date and time was finally bestowed upon a sweet young woman I’ve been helping. Reading her text brought back those same emotions I felt on when I […]