I was honored when my friend and mentor, Jenni Schaefer, asked me to guest blog for her “Dream Big” blog series. Eating disorders blind us from having dreams, but the light of recovery opens our eyes to dreams we never imagined possible. What’s your dream? Here is mine……
(My Guest Blog post on Love Our Bodies, Love Ourselves) Body image. The elusive positive body image that your treatment team constantly chatters about. Sure it would be nice to love your body, but let’s be real here, the notion of loving your body after spending years hating it is frankly insane. Love my body? That was not in the cards for me unless I lost weight. My eating disorder told me that I could not be happy, I could…
2.17.2014 To my dearest son, As I write you on your second birthday, I can’t help but be overwhelmed with the amount of love I have for you and the joy you bring to my life. If these past two years are any indication as to how fast time moves, you will be riding your first school bus and going to your first school dance in the blink of an eye. Having you as my precious child makes me aware of the…
“She’s gotten so skinny. Like, she never goes out anymore.” “I think it’s for Spring Break” “Yeah, and every time I see her at the house she is eating, like, one piece of cheese.” My heart sank as I overheard the conversation between three Ole Miss sorority sisters Friday afternoon at lunch. Listening to this all-too-common conversation reminded me of how prevalent disordered eating is in our world. Their lunchtime gossip stung on a very personal level because I was ‘that girl’…
Yesterday, I crossed a finish line. Yep, that was all it was, a finish line. A man-made line in the street to declare the race complete. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course completing a half-marathon is nothing to laugh at. I am super proud of my husband and myself for completing our first race together. But for the first time that finish line meant nothing to me and I say that because finish lines, at one time, were everything to me.…
My heart has been heavy this holiday season as we had to say goodbye to an extraordinary woman. Marolyn Tyler Lasuzzo. Born September 21, 1948, to my Great Uncle Ernie and Aunt Hazel. According to my family tree, she was my second cousin, but she and her sisters were always like aunts to me. Growing up, Marolyn was my favorite of the Tyler sisters (sorry, Mary Ann ;)). Marolyn oozed kindness and compassion and her creative spirit was not lost…
No, really, naked. Literally. I am giddy to finally post pictures from the photo shoot a few months back (Gisele, Meet McCall) These pictures represents something extraordinary – ME: recovered, vulnerable, at peace with my body and completely exposed. Three years ago I would not dare post a picture of me in a coverup, much less, well, you know. Why am I posting these today? Well, today is a very special day for me. Today marks THREE YEARS of RECOVERY.…
I woke up yesterday morning with a smile on my face and a pep in my step. It was my birthday and this year I found myself truly content and at peace. I always shrugged off my birthday. I was never one to have birthday countdowns and I envied the people who did. It is not surprising that my lack of self-esteem kept me from fully embracing and celebrating the day that, well, celebrates ME. Most people have their…
The sun fell into the Louisiana bayou, as my husband and I ran side by side on an evening run. The sky was an amazing fluorescent pink and purple and the crisp fall air was simply perfect. We pushed our son in his stroller as he clutched his beloved golf club and juice cup in his tiny hands. Tonight’s seemingly insignificant Sunday run turned into another extraordinary recovery moment that took my breath away. It was once said to me…
I have a secret. Up until a few weeks ago, I felt completely unworthy in the eating disorder and speaking world. There weren’t any letters behind my name or degrees on the wall to prove my worth or that I belonged. Mingling with researchers or speaking on panels with professionals, especially ones that I knew, made my palms sweat profusely. That negative voice that would constantly bark, “What are you doing? They think you are dumb and a ‘wannabe’. You…