Finding a New Normal
Today I kissed my baby girl goodbye through her plexiglass incubator. My heart shattered. Jordan reminded me that I would be right back the next day, but that did little to ease the massive ache in my heart. I was leaving the hospital. She was not. And that was not fair. Every where I turned there […]
Nine Months to the NOW
Up until today, this blog has been dedicated to my eating disorder recovery journey, my experiences as the proud founder of Southern Smash and the extraordinary people I’ve met and the events along the way. Traveling through the depths of an eating disorder and into the life of recovery puts life in perspective. Seemingly simple life events […]
Pro Choice: Choosing Life in the Darkness
Small choices. Tiny decisions. Day by day. This is recovery. Recovery is not perfect. It is not a straight line. Recovery does not happen overnight. It happens when you decide to get out of bed and get dressed, even though your depression is so gruesome it hurts. It happens when you decide to eat your snack, […]
Through the Eyes of a Child
A few years ago, I was tailgating at an LSU game when I saw my friend’s husband laughing and pointing at his buddy’s shirt. As his shirt came into view, I realized it said, “I beat Anorexia” in big bold letters. The obnoxiously drunken tailgater was an overweight man and clearly the so-called ‘life of […]
Smashing the Pregnancy Scale
Tap…Tap…Tap…Tap… The weight kept jolting further and further to the right. Higher and higher. My anxiety raised in parallel unison with the climb of the scale’s number. (Oh, you thought I was immune from scales because I smash them for a living? Not so much.) The nurse silently wrote down a number and I followed […]
Surviving Goodbye
Last week I had the honor of speaking and meeting with the amazing patients of Castlewood. I was touched by their openness and engagement during our time together. I could have sat and talked with them all day. They were full of questions that both challenged and excited my thoughts surrounding eating disorder recovery. As I sat […]
Carolina In My Mind
Tuxedo, North Carolina. Camp Green Cove. My happy place. Camp Green Cove shaped me into the person I am today. The people of Green Cove, and our brother camp Mondamin, are and will always be my family. There is not a doubt in my mind that I am alive because of this place and my camp […]
Expanding My Orbit
Today I find myself on the cusp of a pretty ginormous (ginormous being the professional word) life transition. My husband, son, baby-to-be, two dogs and I are moving. And I don’t mean down the road. We are packing up and heading east to Sea Island, Georgia. To say my heart is broken is an understatement. […]
Discovering the Yogi Within
It is no secret my eating disorder kept me from enjoying life and putting myself out there. I feared failure like most people fear burning to death. So rather than risk not being good enough, I stayed safely inside my comfort zone – and by comfort zone I mean eating disorder. But I don’t think […]
Rubber Food SmackDown
I often write about people and professionals who have greatly impacted my recovery journey, but there has been one professional category that I have yet to write about. The Nutritionist. (Insert negative ‘Dun-dun-dun’ music here.) Nutritionists get the worst rap out of anyone on the ED Treatment team. Not to mention, they also own various pieces […]