The Scale that Almost Divided Us
Something happened yesterday that jarred me… As I unwrapped and loaded scales in boxes for our Alliance for Eating Disorders NOT ONE MORE walk in Orlando, Jordan came over and tossed a scale on the ground. He is a lighthearted, joking guy and was going to step on the scale. I immediately grabbed it from […]
Happy [Grieving] Birthday to Me
Maybe it is because her house is empty or maybe because it is Christmas, maybe it is because President George H. W. Bush’s funeral is all over the news or maybe it is because my birthday is tomorrow or maybe because it is another day that ends in ‘Y’… Lately, I have been missing her […]
Two Weeks Gone
My eyes flew open at 4am and my heart sunk. Two weeks. Two weeks ago my best friend left this earth. Two weeks since I spoke to her, held her hand, hugged her. This is the longest I have ever gone without speaking to GaGa. I keep calling her number, but no one picks up. […]
Reversing Roles
When I was little, I would sit in GaGa’s rocking chair, cuddling up as close as I could next to her. Everyone called me her velcro baby. Gaga would scratch my back and stroke my hair while I curled up next to her. When I no longer fit in her chair, I would sit at […]
The Decline of a Matriarch
Years ago, I wrote about my desire to schedule mortality. If God could just send me a time frame of life that would be great. I could be prepared and “ready” for life’s losses and spare my heart the ache. Of course, life doesn’t work like that. So today I find myself on a plane, […]
Dear Anti-Diet Community, Be NICE!
To my dearest anti-diet community, I get it. I totally get that every diet post, cleanse, and celebrity detox makes your skin crawl. I. GET. IT. I’m on your team, but I am not behind the shame storm that happens when someone decides to go on a diet or change their eating habits. Recently, I awoke […]
Leaping Once Again
My current state of mind is similar to that of six years ago when I leaping from treatment back out into the ‘real’ world… Journal entry (2.23.2016) “I am feeling lots of things. I am worried about work. I am kind of angry. I want to cry. I want to fall apart. I want to […]
Confession: I Don’t Like My Kids
When I was in middle school my sister and I fought like cats and dogs. Actually, that’s not true. We were worse. Way worse. We fought like two bridezillas at a Vera Wang sample sale. We were vicious. One afternoon my sister and I were verbally abusing each other as we climbed into my mother’s […]
Paying It Forward and Forward Again
Three hours. Three hours was all it took for the feelings to surface and the tears to flow. Three hours and a phone call from my mom. Last week my time in Raleigh consisted of ten talks, two Southern Smash events and two treatment center visits. When it was all over, I was DONE. Think […]
Heading Back to Treatment
Yesterday, in between work emails and changing diapers, I received a text message that stopped me dead in my tracks: “I’m being admitted Thursday at 10:30…relieved but scared.” An admission date and time was finally bestowed upon a sweet young woman I’ve been helping. Reading her text brought back those same emotions I felt on when I […]